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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23857885">Ang Kinabukasan</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IV of Spades (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Honeybunch (ivos), M/M, Mature Jokes, Swearing, Zildter, fluff ba to?, karupokan, some insecurities are examined, taglish, that’s for you to find out hahahaha</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:00:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,987</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23857885</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>While shooting their music video, the tension between Blaster and Zild becomes more and more unbearable.<br/>Or maybe it's not as bad as he thought.</p><p> </p><p>A short story based on their ‘Ang Pinagmulan Music Video’</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Blaster Silonga/Zild Benitez</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Ideya</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Medyo matagal ko na binabalak isulat itong kwento, kwento tunkol sa mga naganap nung binubuo yung music video nila ehe<br/>Note: plot is set in January to February 2020<br/>I hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Uniforms!”, Zild says and raises his hands in wonder, his eyes searching Blaster and Badjao’s faces for their reactions.</p><p>Badjao’s brows only furrow in response and Blaster squints at the bassist.</p><p>The studio was quiet.</p><p>“Uniforms.”, Zild repeats, a little annoyed that his bandmates isn’t keeping up with him and his ideas, “Para sa next era, mag u-uniform tayo.”</p><p> </p><p>“Gusto mo mag matchy nanaman?”, Badjao asks, scratching his head, recalling that time when Zild made their production team buy them matching leather dresses (that he saw in H&amp;M) which only Zild was actually willing to wear the way it was intended to be worn. (Badjao wearing it like a jacket and Blaster wearing pants with it)</p><p>“Di ‘ba tayo magmumukang girl group nyan?”, Blaster says, smirking. ”Laging may matching clothes pag mag p-perform?”</p><p>“Di naman lagi!”, Zild protested, “Sa mga special occasion lang naman, ganun. Tyaka ang point ko kasi, mag u-uniform tayo sa music video ng blue era!”</p><p> </p><p>Badjao and Blaster look at each other, Blaster pressed his lips together and hummed, considering Zild’s idea.</p><p>“Ano itsura?”, Badjao asked.</p><p>“Kulay blue!”, Zild replied</p><p> </p><p>“Nag matching na tayo na blue dati.”, Blaster says, refering to their perforamance where the three of them wore blue shorts.</p><p> </p><p>“Blue... Na may red!”, Zild improvised</p><p>“Blue na may red nga yon!”, Badjao says, “Nakalimutan mo ba, blue sya na blazer tas red tie.”</p><p>“Edi may gold!”, Zild added.</p><p>“Ano to, watawat ng Pilipinas?”, Blaster joked, and then laughs together with Badjao.</p><p>Zild frowns at the two, “Lahat nalang ng ideas ko binabara! Para kayong tae.”</p><p>“Oh sige sige sige na”, Blaster starts, getting a piece of paper and a pencil, “Serious na tayo.”, he says with a grin.</p><p> </p><p>Zild looks at the guitarist, a little annoyed, but proceeds to describe the design he had in mind, googling pictures in his phone and showing it to Blaster for reference.</p><p>Blaster drew on the piece of paper, looking over the pictures Zild had saved on his phone every now and then and continuing to draw again as Zild rambles on about his idea for a music video, which Blaster completely ignored, he was too focused on his drawing, but he was able to make out “Black Parade” from Zild’s rambling. Badjao had stopped listening ages ago and was only playing a game on his phone.</p><p>After a few minutes, Blaster finishes his drawing, on his paper he drew 3 different uniforms for Zild to choose from.</p><p> </p><p>“Ayan!”, Zild exclaims, “Ang galing! Magkaiba design bawa’t member!”</p><p>“Hindi! Mamili ka lang sa tatlong yan.”, Blaster clarified.</p><p>“What if itong tatlo na?”, Zild suggests, “Di ba mas interesting yun?”</p><p>“Okay, sige.”, Blaster says, holds his pencil over the first drawing of a uniform, “Tapos pano yung kulay? Anong part dito yung blue?”</p><p>“Ibahin mo to.”, Zild points to one uniform instead, “Gawin mong skirt.”</p><p>Blaster frowns, “Skirt na naman.”, he reluctantly starts to erase the lower part of the uniform.</p><p>“Edi sakin lang yung skirt.”</p><p>“Huh?”, Blaster pauses and looks at the bassist, “So kaming dalawa ni Badjao naka pantalon, tas ikaw naka skirt?”</p><p>“Oo! Okay lang naman sakin, diba para sa fans natin na babae.”</p><p>Blaster tilts his head in confusion, looks Zild over from head to toe, “Di ba dapat para sa lalaki?”</p><p>Zild’s face went a bit red at what Blaster was implying, “Hindi kasi yang iniisip mo! Ang ibig sabihin ko para pwedeng gayahin din ng mga babae natin na fans! Lam mo yun? For cosplay!”</p><p>“Ahh okay okay!”, Blaster proceeds to give the drawing a skirt.</p><p>Badjao puts his phone away and peeks over at Blaster’s work, “Ano na.”</p><p>“I p-pitch ko yung idea sa production team naten, if magustohan nila, baka pwede na tayo mag hanap ng tailor!”, Zild says, taking a picture of the designs on his phone.</p><p> </p><p>So there was that. The start of their new era. <em>Ang Pinagmulan.</em></p><p> </p><p>Zild sent pictures and notes and discussed his ideas to the production team, which to Zild’s surprise, they were on board with!</p><p>After the IVOS production team had approved their proposal, they started contacting people that would help them make their idea a reality.</p><p>In the next weeks, they found a tailor that will make their costumes and they went and got their measurements, though Zild insisted on picking the fabric themselves and so they went on a trip to a fabric store.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Everyone came in casual clothes, the place they were visiting didn’t need for them to dress, except maybe for Zild, he wore his old chic black hat.</p><p> </p><p>“Ba’t nga ba kami kasama?”, Badjao asked when they entered the store, his tone didn’t sound pleased to be here.</p><p>“Kasi po, sir de Castro,”, Zild said while inspecting the large rolled up textiles, brushing his fingers along the fabric to feel the texture, “tayo magsusuot ng costume, maganda na maka one-on-one natin yung tela.”</p><p>“Maka one-on-one? I-interviewin ba natin yung tela?”, Blaster asked sarcastically, making Zild grunt and Badjao laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“Tyaka tayo kasi mamimili ng kulay.”, Zild continued, stopping at a particular roll of fabric that caught his attention, “Gelo, ano satingin mo?”</p><p> </p><p>Gelo, who came with them, went over to Zild to look at the navy blue fabric, “Ang kapal masyado neto. Parang mainit pag sinuot.”</p><p> </p><p>“Pero yung gantong kulay parang bagay e.”, Zild says, and then calls the attention of one of the staff, “Excuse me, may tela po bang mas manipis dito pero malapit sa kulay nito?”</p><p> </p><p>The male staff walked up to Zild and examined the fabric, “San po ba gagamitin?”</p><p>“Uniform.”, Gelo answered.</p><p>“Mas bagay po kasi yung ganto sa mga pantalon, kung pang pantaas siguro nylon.”, the staff says.</p><p>“Pakita naman po kung may nylon na ganitong kulay.”, Zild politely requested.</p><p>The staff obligued and showed them the way, Zild and Gelo followed. The three of them disappear into an isle of fabric.</p><p> </p><p>Was it really necessary for the four of them to be here? It looks like Zild and Gelo had it all figured out anyway.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster rested his back against a bundle of fabric, arms crossed, waiting for the other two, while Badjao was typing on his phone.</p><p> </p><p>He scanned the surroundings of the store, then finds something interesting, he walked towards a rack stacked with various iron-on patch designs.</p><p>He sees basketball team patches, flower patches, patches with characters on them, there were all sorts of them.</p><p> </p><p>He came up with an idea. When Zild and Gelo came back with the fabric already purchased, Blaster tells them his idea.</p><p>“Magpagawa kaya tayo ng patches”, he suggested, “tapos nakalagay sya sa costume natin, di ba cool?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ahh.”, Zild exclaimed, considering the idea, “Parang cute nga yan, mas magiging interesting yung costume. Sige, tanungin natin sa prod team later.”</p><p> </p><p>Blaster can’t help but feel proud of himself for coming up with it and Zild liking his idea. He helped them carry the paper bags filled with their purchase and the four of them proceeded to eat at a nearby restaurant that day.</p><p>After that, their tailor had fetched the fabric they purchased to start sewing their costumes, they had also made patch designs that they will hand to a manufacturer of patches.</p><p>Then they started making a storyboard for their music video, hired someone to build the props, and scouted for extras that wanted to be in their music video.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>After a month of planning, contacting, preparing, everything they need was finally there in the studio and all that was left was to actually shoot the mv.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone part of the production and the band were gathered at a large studio.</p><p>People were busy with setting up the lighting, moving props and the band’s instruments, etc, etc.</p><p> </p><p>Their costumes finally arrive, via Gelo handing it to them in plastic.</p><p>The band then changed into their costumes.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster’s costume was styled like overalls, deep blue, with red on his shoulders, and gold lines of fabric going down along his legs. When the costume had arrived, he worried a bit about looking ridiculous in it, but looking at himself in the mirror of the changing room, he thought he looked pretty badass, he felt like a pilot of plane, or a robot. He posed in front of the mirror in a way an anime character would, and took a few pictures of himself with his phone. Seeing what it looks like on him really made him excited about the music video.</p><p>He walked in the set feeling pretty confident. Badjao walked in the middle of the set in his costume too, it was like a two-piece version of what Blaster wore, except the collar is different, the colors are switched, and his shirt had a zipper, which is convenient for him for when it gets too hot while playing the drums. Badjao gave him a vibe of a strong military man.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah”, Badjao uttered in awe, “Angas ah.”</p><p>“Para akong mechanic nito.”, Blaster says jokingly, swinging his left then his right leg.</p><p>“Pero mechanic naman ng gundam!”, Badjao says, which makes Blaster laugh.</p><p>“Iniisip ko nga paano ako mag c-cr dito e.”, Blaster says, hand fidgeting with the lower part of his costume,</p><p>“Oo nga.... pano pag natatae ka?”</p><p> </p><p>Their conversation was cut off when they notice Zild standing in his costume, which as expected, is a dress version of everyone’s.</p><p>Unlike Blaster or Badjao’s, Zild’s costume was not long enough to cover his pale slender legs. The other people in the studio were staring.</p><p> </p><p>“Ano?”, Zild says, causing Blaster to bring his eyes up. “What’chu think?”</p><p>“Uhm.”, Blaster mutters. <em>Oh my God</em> <em>ang cute mo, gago ka ba.... </em>He thought to himself. Zild looked really feminine, his costume accentuated his waist, it also didn’t help that Zild was wearing his earring.</p><p> </p><p>“Ang iksi.”, Badjao says frankly.</p><p>“Onga e.”, Zild says, embarrassed, he tugs down his skirt, the action made Blaster look at his thighs briefly.</p><p>“Di ba sinabi mo naman sa mananahi kung gaano ka haba mo gusto?”,</p><p>“Yeah, tama naman to, sinabi ko na ganito ka-iksi e, pero shet, ngayon ko lang na realize na ang iksi pala talaga. Umiiksi pa sya lalo pag umuupo ako...”</p><p>“Okay lang yan, para easy access diba?”, Blaster says, getting him a funny look from the two.</p><p>“Easy access?”, Badjao repeats, raising an eyebrow, “Kanino? Sayo?”</p><p>“Hoy!”, both the guitarist and bassist yell, looking at each other with red faces, then quickly looking away.</p><p>“Pag mag c-cr kasi!”, Blaster clarified, “Di ba!? Tataas nya lang?”,</p><p>“Ba’t ba yan una mong naisip, Ter.”, Badjao wondered.</p><p>“Ba naman kasi!”, Blaster starts, then Zild walks off.</p><p> </p><p>“Tignan mo.”, Badjao says to Blaster accusingly, “Nag walk out tuloy yung tao. Na self conscious na siguro sayo.”</p><p>“Bakit ako!?”, Blaster blurted defensively, “Ikaw yung green-minded diyan!”</p><p>“Ako yung green-minded? Ikaw dito yung iniisip etits ni Zild.”</p><p>“Badjao, sasakalin na kita.”</p><p> </p><p>After a few minutes, Zild comes up to them, now with black stockings covering his legs. <em>Fuck</em>, Blaster feels his pants go a little tight at the sight.</p><p>“Oh, okay na?”, Zild says.</p><p>“Yan!”, Badjao says approvingly.</p><p>Zild turns to look at Blaster expectantly.</p><p>The guitarist looked him up and down, “Para kang stewardess.”, Blaster joked, making Badjao laugh.</p><p>Zild pouted in annoyance while looking at him which, for a brief moment, made Blaster feel guilty,</p><p>“Di seryoso, ang cute mo.”, Blaster said honestly, which Zild was probably not expecting to hear from the guitarist because Zild’s eyes widened a bit.</p><p>“Yieee!”, Badjao exclaimed, poking Blaster on the stomach,</p><p>“Ano ba! Nagpapakabait na nga ko e!”</p><p>“Ikaw din Blaster, ang guwapo mo.”, Zild reciprocated with a warm smile.</p><p>
  <em>PUTA! </em>
</p><p>“Sus!”, Blaster muttered bashfully.</p><p>“Sus!”, Badjao repeated, “Wag nga kayo sa harap ko mag landian!”, he walked away to the direction of the set,</p><p>“Hala! Ikaw din Badjao! Ang pogi mo!”, Zild says, running after him.</p><p>Blaster quietly followed behind. He willed himself to keep his eyes off of his bandmate’s butt, it’s not the first time he’s seen Zild in revealing clothes, why was this any different?</p><p> </p><p><em>Wag mo nga pansinin, </em>he thought.</p><p> </p><p>It was also hard to ignore when their drummer kept pointing out the tension between him and the bassist. Badjao knew something was going on, or at least, he had caught up just from seeing Blaster’s behavior around Zild.</p><p> </p><p>Zild on the other hand is really affectionate with his friends so it was hard to tell if he liked someone...</p><p> </p><p>Blaster replays in his mind the moment earlier where Zild complimented him, he feels his face getting hot.</p><p> </p><p><em>Ganyan sya sa lahat, </em>he reminded himself</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Later, they started to shoot the scenes for the mv, they started shooting Badjao’s scenes first, they filmed Badjao sitting on a sofa chair, told him to ‘just meddle with your drumsticks’, then made him sit in front of an old TV that played clips of their other music videos, then they shot him beating his drums while they played the song over a speaker for him to play along with.</p><p> </p><p>Zild and Blaster stood outside of the frame, patiently watching the filming process.</p><p> </p><p>“After neto ano?”, Blaster asked,</p><p>“Scenes mo, then tayong lahat.”, Zild answered,</p><p>“Eh paano yung sayo?”</p><p>“Last yung akin.”</p><p>Blaster furrowed his brows, a little confused, “Ikaw ba pasabog?”, he joked.</p><p>“Oo”, Zild went along with it, “Lalabas kasi ako sa cake e.”</p><p>Blaster chuckled, “Niluluto palang ba yung cake? Kaya inuuna muna kami?”</p><p>“Oo.”, Zild says with a giggle, “Hinahalo palang nila yung flour, tas bini-break yung eggs,” he says, pretending to bake with his hands,</p><p>Blaster laughs, “Oh talaga?”</p><p>“Oo nga, ayaw mo maniwala, mamaya makikita mo,” Zild grinned.</p><p> </p><p>“Zild! Lapit ka dali!”, Daniel called from across the room,</p><p>“Ah.”, Zild muttered, looking back at Blaster, giving him a small timid smile before running over and giving his full attention to Daniel.</p><p>Blaster stood and watched the two talk about something over Daniel’s laptop from across the room, their faces really close to one another, then Daniel says something that makes Zild laugh, which makes Blaster feel his chest sink.</p><p> </p><p>Zild and Daniel have been talking a lot ever since planning this music video, well of course, Daniel is their creative and content director, he also does the editing for most of their content that they publish online, so he always has to talk to Zild about his ideas to see if Zild likes them and if the bassist likes them Daniel will proceed with them.</p><p>He’s also... Very good at talking to Zild.</p><p>They get along well over discussing the visuals they want for the band’s music.</p><p>He can’t help but be a little... Jealous.</p><p> </p><p>He sees Daniel place his hand on Zild’s back as they talk, Blaster forces himself to look away, <em>wag ka ngang seloso, kaibigan mo din si Daniel. The fuck is wrong with you? </em>He thought.</p><p> </p><p>After filming Badjao’s, it was time for Blaster’s scenes, which needed the extras. Blaster carried his guitar and walked in the set where everyone was gathered, Blaster facing towards to camera while the extras faced back. The lights adjusted, the set got darker, except for where he was standing.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re rolling!”, the director says, the cameras start filming.</p><p> </p><p>Assistant’s out of the frame play their song on the speaker for Blaster to “play” along with, he focused on strumming on his guitar strings, feeling the music, bobbing his head to the beat. The extras followed and moved their bodies to the song.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster wasn’t a huge fan of being filmed and avoided the stares of the crew outside of the set as much as he could, but in the corner of his eye he can still see Zild and Daniel standing next to each other.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Ignore.. ignore...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He shut his eyes while playing his guitar, drowning everything out and concentrating on the song. He felt him self sweating in his costume from moving so much.</p><p> </p><p>Shooting went pretty quickly, after several more takes, they’re already about to proceed to the next scenes where the three of them are together. They line up in the middle of the set, with their backs to the cameras.</p><p> </p><p>“Galing naman mag-acting ng mga kasama ko.”, Zild says, standing beside Badjao. Blaster makes a face, unconvinced, but appreciates the comment nonetheless. The guitarist’s scene wasn’t that dramatic for him to need to act that much anyway, but it’s nice to be praised by the bassist, his chest feels somewhat lighter than it is earlier. Blaster smiles to himself.</p><p> </p><p>They filmed the scene with their gold and red background that symbolizes the new era is first revealed, which was pretty easy for them because all they had to do was stand, except for the staff that had to roll back and rehang the fabric for another take, then also had their pictures taken with it by Daniel for future use.</p><p> </p><p>Then it was time to shoot the scene of the three of them performing with the extras.</p><p> </p><p>The three of them assembled in front of the set, with the iconic backdrop behind them,</p><p> </p><p>“Hooh”, Badjao uttered behind his drums, “Gusto ko na matapos, naiinitan nako sa suot ko.”</p><p>“Ako rin.”, Blaster says, pulling up his sleeves, hand combing his hair away, “Ang init ng costume.” The costume was covering his whole body, while the fabric was just the right thickness, the studio didn’t have the best ventilation, he feels a bead of sweat roll down his back.</p><p>“Parang di naman, tama lang.”, Zild easily says, he hasn’t dropped a single sweat since the shoot started, it’s been only Badjao and Blaster exerting themselves.</p><p>“Madaling sabihin, kasi wala ka pang ginagawa.”, Blaster bantered.</p><p>“Kaya nga, kelan ka mag-aacting? Buhat na buhat na namin ni Ter yung MV!”, Badjao says.</p><p>“Mamaya pa nga ko!”, Zild said defensively.</p><p>“De ayaw nya lang kasi pagpawisan”, Blaster says, he was having fun teasing the bassist, it was so easy to get on his nerves and Blaster enjoyed Zild’s reactions (and even his unreactions, when Zild puts on a pokerface even when he’s clearly annoyed)</p><p>“Prinsesa kasi.”, Badjao says.</p><p>“Airline princess,” Blaster added, causing Badjao to giggle,</p><p>“Alam n’yo di naman kayo maiinggit sa suot ko kung umagree sana kayo mag ganito.”, Zild quipped.</p><p>“Ah, naiinggit pala tayo e.”, Badjao says to Blaster.</p><p>“Ang presko kaya.”, Zild boasts, swinging his leg.</p><p>“Painitin kita d’yan, e.”, Blaster muttered, he didn’t intend for anyone to hear</p><p>“Grabe!”, Badjao exclaimed, “Ter, anong sabi mo! Ang tindi mo!”</p><p>“Wala!”</p><p>“Sige, kung kaya mo.”, Zild dared cheekily.</p><p>From Blaster’s peripheral vision, he can see Badjao’s eyes widen and brows going up.</p><p>Blaster looked at Zild, and as if agreeing, he slowly and wordlessly walked up to him.</p><p>He was a little taller, so he towered slightly over the bassist when he was face to face with him, he could see Zild fidget in his spot trying to keep his own composure. This gave the guitarist an idea.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster jumps once in his spot, holding onto his guitar with a tight grip.</p><p>Zild furrows his eyebrows in confusion.</p><p>“Tumalon ka sa suot mo.”, Blaster dares.</p><p>“Ha?”, Zild uttered, completely lost.</p><p>Blaster jumps again, feet off the ground by a few feet, “Kaya mo ba to?”</p><p> </p><p>[watch: visual aid sa scene]</p><p>[ <a href="https://twitter.com/telecasterun/status/1229027304455589888?s=21">https://twitter.com/telecasterun/status/1229027304455589888?s=21</a> ]</p><p> </p><p>The extras around the set start looking at them.</p><p>Blaster can see on the bassist’s face that he’s starting to understand what’s going on, Zild follows despite himself and jumps once in his spot.</p><p> </p><p>“Yun na yun?”, Blaster says, smiling wide, “Taasan mo pa! Ganito!”, the guitarist jumped high, legs folding midair.</p><p>Zild breathes out a laugh, and tries to jump again, not as high, as if he’s cautious.</p><p>He could hear some of the extras around them start giggling at them.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster jumps up high again, legs folding midair, and landing heavily on his feet in front of Zild, just to prove his point.</p><p>Zild attempts to jump high, but fails again.</p><p>Blaster can tell that he can’t jump in his costume, or else everyone’s going to see <em>things.</em></p><p>“Tama na, di ko na kaya.”, Zild admitted and laughs shyly, Blaster could see him pulling down his skirt once.</p><p>“Di pala e. Ba’t ako ma-iinggit sa costume mo?”, Blaster said cockily.</p><p>Zild only responded by sticking his tongue out at him, Blaster sticked his tongue out as well, they were acting like children in the set.</p><p>The guitarist catches the bassist wipe sweat off his own neck with his sleeve, Blaster feels a surge of pride thinking of how he caused Zild to sweat in his costume<em>.</em></p><p> </p><p>Then, they started filming the scene, the three of them “performed” the song together, with lights flickering above them and the extras moving to the music around them.</p><p> </p><p>The song had been played multiple times that day but Blaster still shreds his guitar along the music with intensity. He somewhat feels more in touch with the music now that he’s playing beside his bandmates. Beside Zild, who passionately plucked at the strings of his bass.</p><p>He could feel his chest flutter as they play together. It’s as if no matter how tired he was, he was ready to go again because of this bassist, Zild’s energy was so contagious.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>His heartbeat would only calm down after they finished filming the scene.</p><p>Staff started to clear up their instruments and other props, and adjust the lighting.</p><p> </p><p>Badjao exhaled loudly, “Hirap pala sa showbizz”</p><p>“Onga e.”, Blaster says, “pano kaya kinakaya to ng mga artista.”</p><p>“Pano mo natanong yan e nakita na kita sa She’s dating a gangster?”</p><p>Blaster laughs, “Tangina!”</p><p>“Uy,” Badjao suddenly exclaimed, “susunod na scene ni Zildjian.”</p><p>Blaster feels his heartbeat pick up a little.</p><p>He wasn’t actually sure what Zild was going to do, he wasn’t part of the writing process for the music video.</p><p> </p><p>So it confused him when the crew members started to fill a large rectangular glass container with water from a hose.</p><p> </p><p>“Ha”, Blaster uttered, “ito ba yung scene ni Zild?”</p><p>“Oo”, Gelo answered, coming up from behind them.</p><p>“Ba’t kailangan may tubig?”</p><p>“Manood ka nalang.”, Gelo says, watching the crew fill the glass up with water.</p><p>Blaster was getting the feeling he knew what was going to happen, the guitarist was sensing it too, just from the size of the glass.</p><p> </p><p>Zild went and stood next to the aquarium filled with water, illuminated by a single blue light from above, they started filming him walking around it and examining the glass, then shot him singing to the song next to it.</p><p> </p><p>After that they paused, and when Zild started taking off his shoes, Blaster immediately understood where this was all going.</p><p> </p><p>Two staff members went up to Zild from behind him and assisted him with getting inside the glass, holding him by his hands, Zild put one leg in first, then the other, dipping his stocking-clad legs into water that looked really cold, from Zild’s surprised gasp, it must be.</p><p> </p><p>He stood there with his lower half submerged, letting out a breathy laugh, “Ang lamig!”</p><p>“Sabihin mo lang if ready ka na.”, the director said outside of the set.</p><p>“Okay.”, Zild says, trying to walk around the water. Everyone was watching him.</p><p>“Oh my god”, Zild exclaims, “Okay, okay. Ready.”</p><p>“Pahiga.”, the director says, and Zild nods, then Zild plunged into the water on his back, eyes closed, sinking to the bottom of the aquarium, completely calm.</p><p> </p><p>“Gumalaw-galaw ka.”, the director spoke through a megaphone, probably so Zild could somewhat hear through the water.</p><p> </p><p>It looks like Zild understood somehow as he started to turn his body underwater, and starts putting his hands on the glass.</p><p> </p><p>It was like watching him in slow motion.</p><p> </p><p>He stayed underwater for a few more seconds, seconds that seemed really really long, then he quickly emerged, gasping for air and wiping the water from his eyes before opening them.</p><p>“Kamusta yun?”, Zild asked a little breathlessly.</p><p>“Okay. Gawin pa na’tin ng ilang beses. Try mong pa harap mag dive.”, the director instructed.</p><p>Zild nods, stands at the side of the aquarium, inhales, then dips back into the water facedown, extending his arms underwater and turning slowly as he sank.</p><p>He did this a couple more times in different ways, even mouthed the lyrics underwater.</p><p>Then they filmed him with his head above the water, singing the lyrics of the song with his hair and face completely damp.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster wondered what it’s like to be in Zild’s place right now, pretending like nobody is watching him while being in a room filled with people. Zild was good at that, acting like he is currently living in the world within the song, and could interpret their music through his movements, his facial expressions.</p><p> </p><p>“Anong ningingiti mo dyan?”, Badjao asked, interrupting his thoughts,</p><p>“May naalala lang ako.”, Blaster lied, the drummer only gave him an unconvinced look.</p><p> </p><p>After a few more takes, Zild was finally done with his scenes, they were done for today.</p><p>“It’s a wrap!”, the director exclaimed, followed by everyone applauding.</p><p> </p><p>Zild starts to rise from the glass container, soaking wet, two staff members help him get down, holding him by his hands as he carefully steps down the set’s floor.</p><p> </p><p>He’s standing all by himself now, clothes damp and dripping on the floor, arms hugging himself. He’s probably freezing right now.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster snatches the nearest towel he could find in the changing rooms and rushes over to Zild, approaching the bassist with a towel in his hand.</p><p> </p><p>Zild notices him and warmly smiled at him as he drew closer,</p><p>this causes Blaster to become flustered and from panicking he ends up throwing the towel over the bassist’s face.</p><p> </p><p><em>ANG TANGA MO, BLASTER.</em> He mentally yelled himself.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah. Thanks.”, Zild muttered despite himself, Blaster awkwardly stood and watched him take the towel off his face and drying his hair with it, then putting it over his shoulders for warmth. Blaster feels embarrassed for what he just did, but it’s probably better that he did that so he wouldn’t look so obvious about his feelings.</p><p> </p><p>They both walk away from the set and towards their belongings.</p><p> </p><p>“Ano itsura ko kanina?”, Zild asked, looking up at Blaster, his damp hair with the towel wrapped around himself made him look small and helpless, Blaster could feel his heart ache, he wanted to hug the man in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>The guitarist cleared his throat and looked elsewhere, willing himself to focus on the question that was just asked, “Okay naman.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah...”, Zild muttered, eyes lowered, looking kind of upset. <em>Ha. May sinabi ba kong mali? </em>Blaster thought.</p><p> </p><p>Zild put the towel down to open his bag and take his change of clothes, Blaster started getting his clothes from his bag as well. The two changed out of their costumes separately.</p><p> </p><p>After they got changed, Blaster said his goodbyes to the people left in the studio, whom were Zild and some important roles from the prod team.</p><p>Daniel was still there too, he and Zild were sitting next to each other in the studio, discussing things and having coffee.</p><p> </p><p>“Uhm”, Blaster started, “uuwi nako.”</p><p>Zild waves at the guitarist from his seat, “Bye-bye! Ingat ka.”</p><p>“Ingat ka.”, Daniel repeats.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster nods, and waves back, then turns to leave the studio with a weight in his chest.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Blaster arrived at his house, he walked up the stairs to his room, placed his bag down and went to take a shower.</p><p> </p><p>In the shower, he replayed all the things that happened that day in his head.</p><p>He thinks about the interactions he had with Zild, feeling his heart flutter again from remembering how Zild looked like today. Then remembering when the bassist complimenting him, joking with him and smiling at him like that..</p><p>But he can’t help but feel unsatisfied with the way the day ended, the way he and Zild parted ways just a while ago, and Daniel being with him....</p><p> </p><p>Especially before that, why did Zild look and sound kind of upset? Was it something he said? Was Zild just thinking of the mv? Was he just tired? Whatever it was, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.</p><p> </p><p>He finishes showering, covers himself with a towel, goes to his room and changes into comfortable clothes. He dries his hair with his towel as he uses his other hand to check his social media on his phone.</p><p> </p><p>He sees he has a notif from Gelo in messenger, he opens it and sees a clip of him and Zild jumping in the studio from earlier, Blaster grins at the video.</p><p> </p><p>It’s obvious that his jumps were higher than Zild. He wanted to message Zild about it but then he remembers the really awkward conversation from earlier.</p><p> </p><p>It’s still really bugging the guitarist.</p><p> </p><p>He takes out his guitar from his case and plugs it to his amplifier to take his mind off of things.</p><p> </p><p>He starts playing the riff from Prince by Deftones, using his imagination to fill the other missing parts of the song, imagining the beat of the drums, the boom of the bass. The bass. The bassist.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster tightens his grip on his guitar’s neck, stopping the sound. Frowns at himself for being distracted again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Lahat nalang nagpapaalala sayo???</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nababaliw ka na ata, Blaster.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He throws himself onto his bed, stares at his ceiling and sighs.</p><p>He feels like he’s in 8th grade again; can’t take his mind off a girl. Except this one’s a boy. But that’s not an accurate comparison either, he hasn’t felt this way for any girl before. Zild is not like any of the girls he had a crush on...</p><p> </p><p>He needs someone to talk to. He opens messenger and talks to Badjao.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: Badj</p><p> </p><p>After 5 minutes, the drummer replied</p><p> </p><p>Badjao: ows?</p><p> </p><p>Blaster didn’t think of how he was going to talk about this. How was he going to explain this without revealing who it’s about?</p><p> </p><p>Badjao: tunkol ba to kay daniel</p><p> </p><p>Blaster’s heart races at the mention of the name, it took him a second to understand that Badjao was refering to Zild’s first name.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: Wag mo nga sya tawagin nyan, nakakalito e</p><p> </p><p>Blaster realized that he just gave himself away by saying that... <em>UGH</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Badjao: HAHAHAHA</p><p>Badjao: o ano nga</p><p> </p><p>Fuck it, he wanted to just be forward about it.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: Kanina kasi sa studio, tinatanong ako ni zild kung ano daw itsura nya kanina pagkatapos ng scene nya. Sabi ko okay naman. Tas parang malunkot sya. Naging awkward kami.</p><p>Blaster: Or idk, di ko maintindihan e</p><p>Badjao: blaster.</p><p>Badjao: hay nako, ang dami mo pang kailangan matutunan.</p><p>Blaster: Ano ba yun kasi!?</p><p>Badjao: kasi naman. kilala mo naman si zild, pag nagtatanong yun kung ano itsura nya, after nya sumisid para sa sirena role nya</p><p>Badjao: way nya kasi yun magtanong if nagustuhan mo ba yung performance nya!</p><p>Blaster: Ha e nagustuhan ko naman?</p><p>Badjao: edi sabihin mo ng maayos, apaka walang kwenta naman ng ‘okay naman’</p><p>Badjao: tas buong araw mo pa sya inaasar</p><p>Badjao: ikaw kaya sabihan ng okay naman after mo mag guitar solo</p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately, Badjao made a good point there... Blaster feels bad. He realized he has been teasing the bassist a lot today, he should’ve at least said something nice...</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: Aghhghghhh</p><p>Blaster: Anong gagawin ko</p><p>Badjao: kausapin mo!</p><p>Blaster: Anong sasabihin ko?</p><p>Badjao: ewan ko sayo ter, isipin mo</p><p>Badjao: pano ba iisipin ng tao na mahalaga sya sayo kung di mo pinaparamdam</p><p>Blaster: Hala?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Ba’t ako sinasabihan ng ganto ni Badjao?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Badjao: ttyl bro, may aasikasuhun lang ako</p><p> </p><p>With that, Blaster is left alone with his thoughts. He turned off his phone and placed it on his chest, staring at the ceiling again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>pano ba iisipin ng tao na mahalaga sya sayo kung di mo pinaparamdam</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Why would Badjao tell him that all of a sudden?</p><p>Why would it matter to Zild that he showed that he cares? Unless... Zild liked him back...</p><p> </p><p>Blaster’s eyes widen at the ceiling.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>No way, hindi yun... Pwede naman sa magkakaibigan yun e...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>But the guitarist can’t help but wonder, for the first time, could Zild like him back?</p><p> </p><p>His interactions with the bassist play back in head again.</p><p>Zild’s compliments, his expectant stares, his soft smiles, the reason why he seemed upset earlier, could it be because the bassist liked him back?</p><p> </p><p>Blaster didn’t want to hope, but he definitely wants to let Zild know that he matters to him, and it would probably be hard to know that when your bandmate is always teasing you...</p><p> </p><p>Blaster decides that he wants to be more honest and sincere with his words and actions next time, and quit hiding what he really felt by being mean to his bandmate.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster just didn’t know when he’ll talk to Zild again, he can’t think of a reason to talk to him right now, and he still felt sort of embarrassed to talk about earlier.</p><p>He sends some memes to the bassist instead.</p><p>He notices the nickname Zild had set up for their chat: honeybunch 🍯</p><p> </p><p>Blaster could feel himself soften at the petname.</p><p> </p><p>The guitarist promises to himself that he’ll be a better friend if he can’t be a lover.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>When Blaster opened his eyes, it was bright outside his window, he realized that he had fallen asleep.</p><p> </p><p>He opens his phone to check the time. 8:30.</p><p> </p><p>His last message to Badjao was around 11PM. He slept for more than 8 hours. <em>Wow. Ito ba nagagawa pag in love.</em></p><p> </p><p>Blaster snorts at himself. <em>Corny puta.</em></p><p> </p><p>He gets off of bed and comes downstairs to eat breakfast. He has rice with scrambled eggs and spam, with some cold milo.</p><p> </p><p>He checks his phone on the dining table, Zild hasn’t replied to him yet. He feels a little nervous, but reminds himself that it’s still early, and thinks maybe the bassist had slept very late, he expects Zild to respond maybe around lunch.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster finishes his breakfast, feeds Chewie, goes back up the stairs to his room again and busies himself with some games on his computer.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t do well in his games, he couldn’t focus, he was too antsy about Zild replying, despite his messages being just memes. Zild and him were normally like this anyway, the both of them didn’t demand that the other responded immediately, they already knew each other well. Blaster couldn’t understand why he was particularly worried right now.</p><p> </p><p>Then it was way past lunch, 3PM.</p><p>Blaster had started practicing his vocals and his guitar as he waited. Still no reply.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster sighed, and lied down his bed.</p><p>The nervousness just won’t go away.</p><p>Then, on a whim, Blaster started typing down a message to him.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: Hi zild, i’m sorry about yesterday, kanina ko pa iniisip. I was being a jerk buong araw. Pwede mo naman ako pagsabihan if napipikon ka na. Gusto ko lang din sabihin na i thought u did great sa scene mo, sure akong hindi madali umarte sa tubig pero nagawa mo parin.</p><p>Blaster: Hope ur ok</p><p> </p><p>After hitting send, Blaster felt his worry ease a little. Blaster finally gathered the courage to apologize and give a better comment to Zild about yesterday. He breathes out a laugh. <em>Ang dali lang nun diba? </em>Blaster thought.</p><p> </p><p>He wanted to just keep doing that, being forward. Blaster proceeded to practice again, wrote some ideas he came up with for their band.</p><p> </p><p>Zild doesn’t reply the whole day, until the next day.</p><p> </p><p>Around 10AM, Blaster receives a message from Zild.</p><p> </p><p>Zild: hi blasterrr</p><p>Zild: it’s fine hahaha, thanks for letting me know though.</p><p>and thank you im glad u think so 😊</p><p> </p><p>Blaster feels his heart squeeze at his message.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: No prob!!!</p><p>Zild: sorry di ako nakapagreply, nilagnat kasi ako e</p><p> </p><p>Blaster starts to worry again.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: Weh???? Hala</p><p>Zild: yea, satingin ko dahil sa shoot e.</p><p> </p><p><em>Hala, kaya pala... </em>Blaster felt from being glad to feeling upset.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: Ok ka lang ba? May kailangan ka ba?</p><p>Zild: mas maganda na pakiramdam ko ngayon! ok lang!</p><p>Zild: nandito naman sila ate at mama, nabilhan naman nila ako ng gamot kahapon.</p><p> </p><p><em>Ay oo nga pala... Pinagsasabi ko pa if may kailangan sya</em>? <em>Parang walang kasama sa bahay.. </em>Blaster thought, embarrassed</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: Ok, sorry</p><p>Blaster: Mabuti naman</p><p>Zild: hahahahah</p><p>Blaster: Anong nakakatawa?</p><p>Zild: wala</p><p>Zild: ang sweet mo lang</p><p> </p><p>Blaster feels himself blush at his phone screen.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: Anong sweet dun? di ba ganun pag kaibigan</p><p>Zild: ay oo nga</p><p>Zild: mag padala ka ng rosas</p><p>Zild: charrot man</p><p>Zild: hahahahaha</p><p> </p><p>Blaster could feel himself smile despite himself. <em>Ang corny niya.</em></p><p> </p><p>Blaster: Dalhan kita ng sapak</p><p>Zild: 😢 0k...</p><p> </p><p>Blaster chuckles at his phone, thinks for a second, then types,</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: Kung sa cake ka kasi lumabas di ka nagkasakit ngayon</p><p>Zild: aahhaahhahaha</p><p>Blaster: Nilanggam ka lang</p><p>Zild: hahahahaha bwiset</p><p>Zild: parang mas pipiliin ko pa lagnatin</p><p>Zild: abangan mo blaster, sa cake mo</p><p>Blaster: Hahahahaha gago</p><p>Blaster: Pagaling ka, isa lang bassist namin.</p><p>Zild: hehe opo</p><p> </p><p>Blaster locks his phone and sets it aside, feeling lighthearted, he smiles to himself, then proceeds to strum the strings of his guitar in peace.<br/><br/><br/></p><p>~</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hindi pa dito nagtatapos ang kwento! Hehe<br/>Sasusunod na update ^-^<br/>Maganda sana if mag-iwan kayo ng comment! Gusto ko din marinig ang mga reaction niyo.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 😻</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A couple of weeks pass, Blaster is sitting in his room studying something for school ‘til he hears a notification from Gelo, he says it’s about the music video, the editing for it was finished. Blaster sits up in an instant, presses on the google drive link Gelo had attached and watches the mv on his phone.</p><p> </p><p>His heart beated so fast as he waited for the video to load, despite it not being the first music video of they have had of one of their songs, he was always excited to see content of them made by other people.</p><p> </p><p>The video loads, it starts with a closeup shot of the edge of the water from their shoot, then he sees Zild’s scene where he’s in lying peacefully at the bottom of the container filled with water,</p><p> </p><p>The shot was really good, it amazed him how different it looked from when they were in the studio to the actual mv right now.</p><p> </p><p>Then the actual song starts, he sees the old tv and the couch, himself looking up with the extras around him.</p><p> </p><p>Seeing himself in these mvs always made him a bit uncomfortable, he didn’t like how he looked while acting, though he kept watching, he sees Badjao enter the scene and sitting on the coach, various angles of him playing his drums. Then scenes of Zild singing along the lyrics as he stood near the glass, and shots of him plunging into the water and moving underwater in different ways.</p><p> </p><p>Near the end of the mv, the scene with the three of them playing together comes up, his heart fluttering at seeing the two of them in one scene. He remembers the conversation between them before that was shot, Blaster smiles a little from replaying what happened in his head.</p><p> </p><p>While watching the mv, he can’t help but notice that Zild had really stood out the most. It’s no wonder though, Blaster couldn’t imagine himself or Badjao doing those scenes. It’s like Zild was really meant to do these things.</p><p> </p><p>He finishes watching, he thought of how he wasn’t even aware of how everything would look like on screen during the shoot in the studio weeks ago, it’s amazing how the three of them could do what seems so plain and easy in front of the camera, ends up appearing much more complex and dramatic once it’s compiled and edited. Blaster is really impressed.</p><p> </p><p>He messaged the group chat with his friends, who were already talking about the mv.</p><p> </p><p>Badjao: bagal mag load</p><p>Zild: upgrade ka na kasi</p><p>Badjao: burgis</p><p>Zild: ang ganda grabe 😭</p><p>Badjao: wow</p><p>Badjao: ang pogi ko dito hehe</p><p>Zild: diba</p><p>Gelo: ang angas tignan</p><p>Badjao: ganda ng editing</p><p>Zild: diba ang galing talaga ng prod team natin nakakaproud</p><p>Gelo: galing sumisid ni zild ah hahahahahaha</p><p>Zild: 💁🏻♂️</p><p>Badjao: nasasapawan nga kaming dalawa sa mga sisid scenes nya e</p><p>Zild: di naman</p><p>Zild: kita mo ba moves ni ter</p><p> </p><p>Blaster hadn’t been paying attention to himself in the video, he didn’t want to and he didn’t think his scenes were that impressive anyway.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: Nambobola ka pa e</p><p>Blaster: May kailangan ka ba saken?</p><p>Zild: di kaya 😞</p><p>Zild: ikaw lang 👉🏼👈🏼</p><p> </p><p><em>BWISET. </em>Blaster mentally yelled.</p><p>
  <em>Ba’t sa gc pa sya nag gaganito!?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>*Badjao left the groupchat*</p><p> </p><p>Gelo: HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHA</p><p>Zild: hahaahahahahah</p><p>Blaster: Di na kinaya ni badjao hahahahahahahha</p><p>Gelo: Badjao don’t leave papa</p><p> </p><p>*Gelo added Badjao to the groupchat*</p><p> </p><p>Badjao: mga pokpok</p><p>Zild: grabe</p><p>Gelo: HALA HAHAHA</p><p>Zild: ang harsh naman</p><p>Badjao: lalo ka na zild</p><p>Zild: hala???</p><p>Blaster: Hahahahahhah</p><p>Gelo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA</p><p>Zild: masama na bang puriin kaibigan ko?</p><p>Zild: badjao ang guwapo mo</p><p>Badjao: suuuuusss</p><p>Zild: badjao why do you hate love?</p><p> </p><p>Blaster couldn’t keep from snickering at his phone</p><p> </p><p>Badjao: ewan ko sayo landi mo</p><p>Zild: 😭?</p><p>Gelo: lagot</p><p>Zild: bakit ba lagi niyo ko pinagtutulungan???</p><p>Gelo: HAHAHAHAHA</p><p>Badjao: hhhahahhahaha</p><p>Zild: ang bait bait ko 😢</p><p>Zild: blaster help</p><p>Blaster: totoo naman e</p><p>Zild: wow</p><p>Gelo: HAHAHAHAHAHA</p><p>Gelo: wawa walang kakampi</p><p>Badjao: walang may pake</p><p>Zild: ok lang</p><p>Zild: may daniel pa ko 😢</p><p> </p><p>Blaster frowns at his phone at the mention of the name, he quickly thinks of changing the topic,</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: sino? daniel padilla?</p><p>Gelo: andito si daniel padilla o 😂 naggigitara</p><p>Zild: ay, sya ba yan hahahahaha</p><p>Zild: grabe yon, nag star na si daniel padilla sa iv spades music vid 😍 hot mo po sa personal</p><p>Badjao: nakakasuka</p><p>Gelo: andaming hirit naman?</p><p>Zild: ano pong update daniel p?</p><p> </p><p><em>Ang corny neto kahit kelan, </em>Blaster thinks, but grins despite himself</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: Thank u, naghahanap ako nonshowbizz bf</p><p> </p><p>Blaster wasn’t really thinking when he sent that.</p><p> </p><p>There were a few seconds of silence in the gc after he said that, seconds that seemed agonizingly long, before the others start talking again.</p><p> </p><p>Gelo: 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 LUH</p><p>Badjao: bwiset</p><p>Gelo: HOY ANO TO</p><p>Gelo: BOYFRIEND?</p><p>Zild: 😳 ...</p><p> </p><p>Blaster couldn’t help but laugh out loud, he didn’t know if it was because of the other two’s reactions or because of his <em>feelings</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Gelo: TANGINA ANONG KAGULUHAN TO HHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHA</p><p>Zild: 😳👈🏼...?</p><p>Gelo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSNSNSNSJSJKSZKSKSOLS!?!?!?!?</p><p>Badjao: pagod na pagod nako highkey</p><p>Blaster: 👉🏽👈👉🏽👈👉🏽👈</p><p>Gelo: KALAT</p><p>Zild: hahahahahahahahaahha</p><p>Zild: tama na guys</p><p>Zild: btw nag thank you na ba kayo sa team?</p><p> </p><p>Zild, in a way, had just saved Blaster and himself from being exposed to the other two, well maybe further exposed because the <em>thing</em> between them isn’t exactly a secret from their closest friends.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster is still smiling from their ridiculous exchange as he types.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: di pa</p><p>Badjao: ay wait text ko sila</p><p>Gelo: HAHAHAHAH ang bilis mag backtrack ah</p><p>Badjao: tama na pero sya nga nagumpisa </p><p>Zild: bakit ba, siyempre dapat pasalamatin natin sila for their hard work ☺️</p><p>Blaster: True ☺️</p><p>Badjao: mag private message nalang kayong dalawa please</p><p>Gelo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH</p><p>Zild: 😒</p><p> </p><p>Blaster goes to his message app to text the director, editors, and anyone else in the prod team he had contact of, a thanks as Zild had asked.</p><p> </p><p>Then he receives a notif from Zild, he opens their chat and sees a picture of himself, playing his guitar, eyes shut in concentration at the music, the lighting making him in his blue and red suit stand out from the extras around him.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster looks at his picture carefully, it looks like it was taken from afar. Blaster figures that Zild took his pic when they were shooting his scene.</p><p> </p><p>This was also around the time when he was feeling jealous of Daniel.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster suddenly feels ridiculous for even being jealous.</p><p> </p><p>Zild: &lt;3</p><p> </p><p>Blaster smirks at the emoji.</p><p>It looks like the guitarist wasn’t the only one who was captivated by the other’s performance from their shoot.</p><p>He feels himself swell with pride a bit, and also feel flattered, and fond of the bassist.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster gave the music video another watch from the drive link and pays a little bit more attention to himself this time.</p><p>He finds himself agreeing to Zild, he did look good in the mv, his costume was a nice fit on him. He kind of wants to wear it again now.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>A week goes by, the date of their gig at UP Diliman fair nears.</p><p>It was going to be a very very big gig, with UP being so <em>large, </em>not in just space but in population too.</p><p>Their manager has been contacting them more frequently now, especially Zild, since he is also kind of a producer, he has been doing a lot of talking with people for this event, talking to Daniel most of all.</p><p> </p><p>With Daniel being their content director, he was responsible for relaying how their visuals on the stage would look like, how the lights should move and change color, what to show on the large screens, etc, to the people managing the fair at UP, and it was important to Zild that their performances made an impact to their audience so Zild wants to ensure that their visuals will help them create that impact.</p><p> </p><p>So Zild and him had to talk <em>a lot.</em> Blaster isn’t really bothered by this anymore, well not as much, there’s really nothing he can do about it even if he was bothered, and no reason to make them stop talking to each other.</p><p> </p><p>Though it does make him miss talking to Zild more. Zild had gotten a bit busier, being consulted all the time about the gig, editing the music to be played for the gig as well as practicing with the band.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster is a little worried for the bassist, he always is, everytime they have these large events to attend to, he can see how restless Zild gets.</p><p> </p><p>He remembers how workload had made the bassist lose a lot of weight too, especially when Unique left, and Zild was still in college at the time, the changes and the circumstances, they were difficult for the bassist to shoulder all at once, and Blaster couldn’t help him as much as he wanted to because he had acads on his plate too...</p><p> </p><p>“Blaster?”, Zild uttered, making Blaster snap out of his thoughts, “Okay ka lang?”</p><p> </p><p>Zild is holding his bass and is looking at him with a brow slightly raised in concern,</p><p> </p><p>“Yea,” Blaster assured, “bakit naman?”</p><p> </p><p>Zild smiles a bit at him, “Tulala ka kasi e.”, he grabs a water bottle that was placed on the floor near his synth and drinks from it.</p><p> </p><p>“Ay,” Blaster uttered and chuckled, “may naalala lang kasi ako.”</p><p>“Anong naalala mo?”</p><p>Blaster stares at him for a second, <em>ikaw naalala ko</em>, he thought.</p><p>“Yung fair.”, he says instead.</p><p>Zild smile grew wide, “Excited ka na ba?”</p><p>“Oo!”</p><p>“Ako din e, solid yung gigs sa UP, tyaka excited din ako suotin yung costume natin, hehe.”</p><p>“Excited ka na ba mag-“, Badjao starts to sing the tune of one of those popular K-pop girl group’s songs while swinging his hips mockingly from behind his drums, teasing Zild about his costume again.</p><p>“Haha, funny Badjao.”, Zild droned, “Pag nasawa nako sa inyo, lilipat na talaga ako ng kpop group.” he starts plucking at his bass strings.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster laughed, he knew Zild never means any of the mean things he says.</p><p>Blaster watches the two quip back at each other.</p><p> </p><p>Zild will be okay. They will all be okay. They’re much better now, they can be there for each other more, they can handle anything together.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t need to be so worried.</p><p> </p><p>The three do another round of practice.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Later that afternoon, they decide to have lunch,</p><p> </p><p>“Gutom nako.”, Blaster says, flicking the switch of the amplifier off then placing his guitar in it’s case.</p><p> </p><p>“Order tayo Jollibee.”, Zild says while doing something in his laptop.</p><p> </p><p>“Labas nalang tayo”, Badjao suggests, “nakakaumay dito buong araw e.”</p><p>“Gusto ko pa kasi balikan to e”, Zild says, refering to some work on his laptop.</p><p>“Bukas nalang yan”, Blaster says, “Zild.”</p><p> </p><p>Zild looks up from his screen to look at Blaster, who’s giving him a knowing look, which Zild must’ve understood as he pursed his lips, then closes his laptop and puts it in his bag, “Sige, may gusto din ako tignan sa Uniqlo.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yun,” Badjao exclaimed, “bumigay din.”</p><p> </p><p>They left the studio and went to the nearest mall to eat lunch, Blaster and Zild carrying their instruments on their backs.</p><p> </p><p>They go to a Jollibee just as Zild said.</p><p>Blaster and Badjao order rice with chicken and Zild orders spaghetti.</p><p> </p><p>The three of them eat their food quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“Valentines day nga pala yung fair noh.”, Badjao says with a mouthful next to Blaster.</p><p> </p><p><em>Ay onga. Feb 14. </em>Blaster thought.</p><p> </p><p>“Hala oo nga!”, Zild exclaims with tomato sauce on the side of his lip, “Grabe, nawala yun sa isip ko.” he laughs, putting a hand on his forehead.</p><p>“Sobrang busy kasi.”, Blaster says, taking a sip of his iced tea.</p><p>“Wala naman kayong jowa”, Badjao says without looking up from his plate, cutting a piece of his chicken with his fork, “wala kayong kailangan alalahanin.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Aray.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Wow”, Zild utters, “inaano ka ba Badjao.” he turns his spaghetti with his fork.</p><p>“La naman syang sinasabi tunkol sa jowa.” Blaster says, looking at the drummer</p><p>“Diba?” Zild says, “Purket may jowa..”</p><p>“Edi jowain mo si Blaster”, Badjao mutters quietly and has his mouth immediately covered by Blaster‘s hand.</p><p>“Ano daw?” Zild asks, looking at Blaster with furrowed brows.</p><p>“Wala.” Blaster says, he can feel Badjao grin under his hand. The guitarsist looks at him threateningly before taking his hand off of him and goes back to holding his spoon and fork.</p><p>“Anong sabi mo?” Zild asks again to Badjao, which Badjao ignores.</p><p>Zild briefly looks at the two of them with an annoyed expression but proceeds to explain, “Di kasi, baka palitan natin yung itutugtog natin, puro love songs nalang.”</p><p>“Wag na!”, Badjao protests, “‘di ba sa madaling araw naman tayo naka schedule? Tapos na Valentines day nun.”</p><p>“Ay..”, Zild utters, seeming a little sad, “Sabagay..”</p><p>“Ba’t mo pa brining up na Valentines day?”, Blaster asked.</p><p>“Wala, may masabi lang, ang tahimik e.”, Badjao says simply.</p><p>“Parang tanga.” Blaster mutters beside him and continues eating, then adds, “Tyaka papahirapan mo pa sarili mo, papapalit mo pa sa technician yung set up ng stage kung papalitan yung mga kanta. Madadagdagan pa trabaho mo.”</p><p>“Sabagay.” Zild says in agreement.</p><p>“Tignan mo,” Badjao says, “puro kasi pag-ibig inuuna e. Tsk.”</p><p>“Luh!?”, Zild utters, glancing at Blaster, then at Badjao, “ang issue mo Badjao, ah. Nakakailan ka na sakin.”</p><p>“Si Blaster pa-isahin mo-“ Badjao starts but gets cut off by Blaster with his voice slightly raised, “Bilisan na nga natin kumain!” he looks at Badjao threateningly again, who looks back at him while holding back a laugh.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After they finish eating lunch, they proceed to come with Zild in Uniqlo. The bassist goes to fit the clothes he took in one of the fitting rooms, leaving his bass with Badjao and the two alone together,</p><p> </p><p>“Pinapahamak mo ko kanina”, Blaster says grumpily, “putek yan.”</p><p>Badjao giggles beside him as they stand idly in the store.</p><p>“Umamin ka na kasi!”, Badjao urges, “Ano pang hinihintay mo? Valentines day? Pasko? New Year?”</p><p>“‘Di naman kasi ganon kadali yun.”, Blaster says, looking elsewhere.</p><p>“Halata naman na may crush din sya sayo e.” Badjao says with a hand on his hip.</p><p>“Di mo alam yan.”</p><p>“Nako Ter, ako pa, alam ko kaya.”</p><p>Blaster looks at the drummer hesitantly.</p><p>Badjao stares at him with an exasperated expression.</p><p>Blaster was about to say something ‘til a girl comes up to them, “Hi. Sorry, ikaw po ba si Blaster?”, she asked shyly,</p><p>Blaster looked at her and her two friends, who all looked very shy. Then he looks at the drummer beside him, who shrugs.</p><p>“Yea. Ako nga.” Blaster answered, getting the three young people that were shorter than him to gasp and squeal softly.</p><p>“Pwedeng mag papicture?” she asked.</p><p>Blaster agrees and then the fans get one of the employees in the store to take their picture with Blaster and Badjao.</p><p>“Uhm, pwede po bang i-hug kayo?” the girl asked, which Blaster also agrees to. The girl wrapped her arms around him tightly and Blaster put an arm around her as her friends took pictures of them.</p><p> </p><p>He was fine with the interaction and he let them do whatever they want until he noticed Zild, with the clothes he’s about to pay for, standing a few meters in front of Blaster.</p><p> </p><p>He must be done with fitting the clothes.</p><p>Zild stood still there, looking at Blaster, the girl then at Blaster again.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster didn’t know why he felt the need to took his arm off of the girl quickly, which made her let go of him.</p><p>As soon as she let go, three of them were starting to leave, and Zild was walking towards Blaster, then all of a sudden the same girl reaches up and kisses Blaster on the cheek, “Bye Blaster!” she said giddily, and ran away with her friends giggling.</p><p> </p><p>Zild neared the two of them silently.</p><p>Blaster can’t understand why he feels so guilty right now, but he feels deeply bad that that had to happen in front of Zild.</p><p> </p><p>Zild has his lips pressed tightly together, expression unreadable, “Di man lang ako napansin ah.”</p><p>“Ang bilis kasi nila”, Blaster says with a tinge of shame in his voice.</p><p>“Parang si Blaster lang gusto ni girl.” Badjao says.</p><p>Zild hummed and nodded, “Sige, babayaran ko na to, halika na.” he says, with a cheerful tone that sounds a little bit forced.</p><p> </p><p>They waited for Zild from the side as he stood in line at the cashier.</p><p> </p><p>“Lagot ka.” Badjao whispered.</p><p>“Bakit ba!?” Blaster loudly whispered back.</p><p>“Nagseselos na yan.”</p><p>“Wag ka nga, Badjao...” Blaster said quietly, although he still felt a weight in his chest.</p><p> </p><p><em>Baliw ka talaga... Hindi naman magseselos yan... Wala naman syang gusto sakin... </em>Blaster told himself, but can’t shake the feeling of guilt..</p><p> </p><p>After Zild had bought his clothes, the three of them told each other goodbye and had parted ways.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster went to his home with a heavy chest.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Shet... Ba’t feeling ko galit sya sakin?</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em> <span class="u">Zild’s pov</span> </em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>A few hours later, Zild arrived at his house, mind restless.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Nakakainis talaga si Blaster...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Zild went up his room grumpily, setting his bass case in a corner then throwing himself onto his bed facedown.</p><p> </p><p>He groans into his mattress. <em>Badtrip talaga!</em></p><p>Zild pulls out his phone and checks his notifs, Blaster messaged him, but he can’t bring himself to talk to guitarist right now...</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Wala naman dapat akong dahilan maging ganto...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Zild sighs.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Tangina, ayoko ng ganitong pakiramdam.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The scene from earlier replays in his head.</p><p>Zild tightly closed his eyes, forcing himself to block out the memory.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Agh!!! Ang tigas din ng ulo mo wag mo na nga isipin!!!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Zild thinks he’s going crazy, he needs to talk to someone.</p><p> </p><p>But he didn’t think he could vent to Badjao or Gelo about this, he thinks they might just tease him again.</p><p> </p><p>He opens Shanne’s contact.</p><p> </p><p>Zild: shanne☹️</p><p> </p><p>After a few minutes, Shanne replies</p><p> </p><p>Shanne: hi bb, ano yun?</p><p>Zild: i’m so</p><p>Shanne: ????</p><p>Zild: frustrated ako</p><p>Shanne: bakit? anong nangyari?</p><p>Shanne: sinong aawayin ko bb???</p><p> </p><p>Zild can’t bring himself to type down what happened, but he really needed to let it out</p><p> </p><p>Zild: kanina kasi</p><p>Zild: nasa uniqlo kami ng banda</p><p>Zild: tas nag fit lang ako ng damit</p><p>Zild: dress pants tyaka white polo</p><p>Zild: so babayaran ko na</p><p>Zild: tas AAAAAA</p><p>Shanne: anong nangyari</p><p>Zild: ewan, ang oa ko</p><p>Zild: i mean, nangyayari naman din sakin yun paminsan w fans, may mga times lang talaga na medyo clingy sila</p><p>Zild: nagagawa lang naman nila yun minsan kasi nadadala sila sa emosyon</p><p>Shanne: hala, anong ginawa nila sayo? 😠</p><p>Zild: hindi sakin</p><p>Zild: huhuhuhu</p><p>Zild: kay blaster kasi ☹️</p><p>Zild: ewan ko ang weird ko hahahahaahha</p><p>Zild: hinug kasi sya ng fan tas hinalikan sa cheek</p><p>Shanne: wow</p><p>Shanne: may pahalik</p><p>Shanne: ok lang ba sakanya???</p><p>Zild: hm ewan ko</p><p>Zild: i mean, sakin ok lang naman yun mangyari</p><p>Zild: papagbigyan ko na yung mga ganun.. so..</p><p>Shanne: pero ok lang ba sakanya</p><p> </p><p>Zild thought about it. Maybe Blaster didn’t enjoy it, maybe it made him uncomfortable even, but that didn’t make Zild feel any better. Now he was curious if his bandmate was alright with it, and he feels sort of guilty that he’s making it about his feelings... His jealousy...</p><p>Even though he shouldn’t be jealous, even though they’re not even dating...</p><p> </p><p><em>Wala naman kayong jowa, </em>Badjaos voice echoes in his head, making Zild feel an ache in chest.</p><p> </p><p>He then feels terrible for being upset at the guitarist a moment ago. He’s being selfish, when Blaster could even be more upset about it happening to him, more than Zild is...</p><p> </p><p>Zild could feel a tear prickle at his eye. He was being immature about this,</p><p>It was difficult to admit it but he acknowledges that he wasn’t thinking right.</p><p>He still can’t help but feel hurt though..</p><p> </p><p>He hated overthinking and being so sensitive!</p><p> </p><p>Zild replies after a minute, deciding not to rant about how upset it made him feel.</p><p> </p><p>Zild: hindi ko alam e...</p><p> </p><p>He definitely should talk to Blaster first.</p><p> </p><p>Zild hears a soft meow in his room.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Kafka...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Zild stands up and scoops Kafka from the floor and puts him on his bed next to him, stroking his shiny black fur with his hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Kafka.” Zild starts, voice in a whisper, “Magreply ba tayo kay Blaster? Meow for yes.”</p><p> </p><p>Zild knew deep down that Kafka wouldn’t meow, that’s why he asked that. Kafka is mostly an untalkative cat, and Zild still can’t find the courage to talk to the guitarist.</p><p> </p><p>Kafka looked at him for a few seconds and meowed quietly.</p><p> </p><p>Zild sadly furrowed his brows, “Kafka?”</p><p> </p><p>Kafka meows again, licks Zild on his nose.</p><p>Kafka is staring at him now, Zild feels like his cat is daring him to do the task.</p><p> </p><p>Zild sighs heavily, looks at Blaster’s notif again. It looks like he needed to talk to him. It’d be really immature to ignore him for something <em>he</em> didn’t do...</p><p> </p><p><em>Pano ko ba ib-bring up yun? </em>Zild wonders.</p><p>Was it even necessary to bring up? He’s not his.. Boyfriend or whatever.</p><p> </p><p>But it could be a friend thing too, right? Friends have their friends back, people are allowed to get upset whenever they see their friends get harrassed... But was it even harrassment?</p><p> </p><p>That will be the case if it made Blaster uncomfortable, and he could only figure that out if he asked the guitarist.</p><p> </p><p>He opened Blaster’s message,</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: Hey, Zild.</p><p>Blaster: Ang wild talaga kanina hahahaha. Sorry nakita mo pa yun</p><p>Blaster: Mukhang bata pa kasi yung fan, di nya pa siguro naiintindihan ginawa nya</p><p>Blaster: Idk, i just felt like explaining? Wala ka nmn siguro pake tunkol dun, so idk kung bakit sinasabi ko pa..</p><p>Blaster: Sorry. Di mo need magreply dito if ayaw mo</p><p> </p><p>Zild feels a twist in his chest after reading the messages.</p><p> </p><p><em>Di mo kailangan magsorry, tanga...</em> Zild thought. He feels himself tear up<em>, ikaw nga dapat tinatanong ko if okay ka e...</em></p><p> </p><p>Zild puts his phone down first to cry.</p><p>Blaster thought of explaining himself to Zild even when he didn’t have to,</p><p> </p><p><em>He cares. </em>Zild thought. <em>Nagalala sya sa iniisip ko...</em></p><p> </p><p>After overthinking it the whole time after it happened and during his two hour commute on his way home... Zild feels relieved, oddly.</p><p>Blaster probably isn’t aware of it but his messages had just assured Zild in some way that was difficult to explain.</p><p> </p><p>Zild sniffs, wipes the tears off of his eyes, and laughs at himself for being so sensitive. He starts typing.</p><p> </p><p>Zild: huy! wag ka magsorry!</p><p>Zild: ikaw, ok ka lang ba dun sa nangyari?</p><p>Zild: di purket nakakalimutan ng fans boundaries nila wala na silang nasasaktan</p><p>Blaster: Lah, ok lang ako siyempre hahaha</p><p>Blaster: Sanay nako dun</p><p>Blaster: Ikaw?</p><p> </p><p><em>I was a jealous mess just a while ago... </em>Zild thought. <em>But okay nako.</em></p><p>Zild feels bad that Blaster is even asking him that. <em>Dapat di nga sarili ko una kong inisip kanina...</em></p><p> </p><p>Zild: oo naman! bat ako magiging di ok?</p><p>Zild: di naman ako yung hinalikan hahahahahha</p><p> </p><p>Blaster only replies after a minute</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: Gusto mo?</p><p> </p><p><em>Ha? </em>Zild’s heart kind of stops.</p><p> </p><p>Zild: ?</p><p>Blaster: Gusto mo ba ikaw yung halikan</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>WHAT THE FUCK?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>WHAT THE FUCK?</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Zild thinks hard of what to say.</p><p>There is no fucking way Blaster means what he thinks he means.</p><p> </p><p>Zild: HAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA</p><p>Zild: ayoko mangyari yun sakin no</p><p> </p><p>His heart was beating so fast.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: Pano kung ako hahalik.</p><p> </p><p>Zild needed to put his phone down, his face felt so hot right now.</p><p>“Kafka!” He yelled at his cat who was peacefully asleep a while ago, “Kafka... Mamatay nako, Kafka...”</p><p>Kafka only stares at him, there is nothing his cat could do to help him. He was on his own.</p><p> </p><p>Zild stared at Blaster’s message. What on earth was he going to say? He didn’t want to seem so affected by this..</p><p> </p><p>Zild: bakit, fan ka ba?</p><p> </p><p>Zild giggles at his own stupid reply.</p><p> </p><p>Blaster: Oo ba</p><p>Blaster: So, ano</p><p>Blaster: Papahalik ka sakin?</p><p> </p><p>Zild had to cover his own face. Why was Blaster being like this all of a sudden!? He seriously didn’t know what to say... But it seriously wasn’t no.</p><p> </p><p>Zild thought for a moment. Imagining how the conversation will go if he responded with this or that.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t want to say these things through chat. Zild decides to take a picture of Kafka, with his little tongue out, and sent it to Blaster.</p><p> </p><p>Zild feels a little bad for avoiding the question, but still chuckles at his own response.</p><p> </p><p>After a few minutes, Blaster replies with a picture of his dog, Chewie, who is on the floor. Looking at the picture, Blaster might’ve had to lie down on the floor to take it. Cutie...</p><p> </p><p>Zild giggles at the pic.</p><p> </p><p>Zild: 😻</p><p>Blaster: 🐶</p><p> </p><p>Zild still hasn’t stopped smiling at his phone.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry, Ter... di pa ko ready.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>His smile turns a bit sad.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Ang Wakas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The dates and details are based irl, UP Cosmos 2020 is on Feb 14, and yung mga banda na mentioned kasama talaga sa lineup, but the plot is fictional of course.<br/>Ang MV ng Ang Pinagmulan pagkatapos ng UP Cosmos pa sya nirelease, kaya relevant talaga ang UP Cosmos sa kwento</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="u"> <em> <strong> <span class="s2">Zild’s pov</span> </strong> </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There were only a few days left before their big reveal at the fair in UPD. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was also a few days left before it was Valentines day...</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Zild’s emotions were all over the place, he didn’t know if he was nervous for their gig or nervous for the Valentines day... Which didn’t really make sense, because </span> <span class="s3"><em>wala naman kayong jowa</em>, </span> <span class="s1">Badjao’s statement repeats in his head.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A painful reminder but a good point there. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s3"><em>Wala akong dapat i-expect</em> </span> <span class="s1">Zild tells himself. </span> <em> <span class="s3">Wag ‘kang tanga, Zild.</span> </em></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He should treat it like any other day, because it </span> <span class="s3">is</span> <span class="s1"> just a day. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels silly for even still believing in the day at his age. Valentines day is so superficial anyway, society had made it out to be a celebration where people get their lovers material things to show their affection, which shouldn’t be the case! </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You can show your affection at anytime, in any way there is, and it’s not good to expect material things from your significant other as their way of showing they love you, objects shouldn’t equate your love for someone.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Love is something you can’t see after all, and thinking that you must buy your significant other something on that day is also buying into so many rich companies capitalist scheme! </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The people that benefit the most from this celebration are corporations! They only want your money!</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Despite knowing all this, Zild still can’t help but feel pressured on days like this. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He really can’t help it. He just cared and loved for people so much, he loves his band, he loves... </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild pulls himself out of his deep thoughts, eyes falling on his bandmate, who stood across from him in the studio, talking about something with their drummer, then laughing about something. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sighs exasperatedly, but also happily.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After all that debating on Valentines day in his head, Zild still wanted to buy something for those he loved. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d be buying into the capitalist scheme, but also, the celebration nearing is a reminder to him of how much his band mattered to him. He’s decided on it, he’ll go shopping later.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p>
<hr/><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The band was just chilling after a session, Zild is sitting on the couch of their studio, with his bass resting on his lap, scrolling through articles about a book he had read on his laptop that was placed on a chair. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Blaster was a few inches away, sitting beside him on his left side, facing away, he played the riff of Come Inside of My Heart</span> <span class="s1">on his guitar</span><span class="s3">, </span><span class="s1">he played it effortlessly. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Badjao had left the room to use the bathroom, it was quiet in the room except for Blaster’s riffs.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild could feel something heavy in the air between them, but chooses to ignore it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He finds himself unable to focus on what he’s reading now. It definitely wasn’t Blaster’s guitar playing that was distracting him... He’s used to it by now, so there was no need for him to shush the guitarist over his reading. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He blames his stupid mind, which was starting to replay memories from the other night, from that night Blaster was flirting with him...</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Could he even call that flirting?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster was singing the lyrics now, and Zild keeps his eyes on the screen, still pretending to read. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s no way Zild can refocus on the text on his laptop now, because the lyrics Blaster sang was like talking to him directly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come inside if my heart if you’re looking for answers..” Blaster sang softly with that voice that Zild found so charming.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><em> <span class="s3">I am looking for answers... </span> </em> <span class="s1">Zild thought.</span></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s3">I have so many questions.</span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s3">I want to know if you really meant those things you said.</span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s3">Could your actions mean something else?</span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s3">Do you like me back?</span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild lets out a small sigh, too quiet for Blaster to notice.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster continues to sing.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The thing is, he didn’t want Blaster to know he had all these questions. He didn’t want Blaster to look at him differently. He didn’t want to lose what they have in the present.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s silly to think that Blaster was speaking the lyrics to him, it’s so silly because ever since Blaster wrote it and everytime he sang it, Zild, deep down, can’t help but think that the lyrics were meant for him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But that’s the purpose of songs and making songs anyway, they’re supposed to be relateable, you’re supposed to think its meant for you, they’re like shoes for your feet to fit in, and it’s amazing because thousands of people can just borrow these shoes.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster made exactly that, a good song that spoke for people, he put into words something that many people knew and understood the feeling of but couldn’t express, he made a song that a lot of people love, and Zild is really proud of him for that.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild suppresses a smile that was spreading on his lips. He didn’t want to be caught by Blaster when he’s smiling like a creep by himself. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">God, does Valentines day coming closer have some sort of affect on him? He was so sentimental these past weeks.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster pauses singing and clears his throat, then hunches over and reaches down the floor to get his bottle of water. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The action causes the tip of his guitar to bump with Zild’s lower rib, which makes Zild flinch in his seat.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster must’ve felt that because he quickly looks over at Zild, “Ay sorry.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild breathes out a quiet laugh, shaking his head a little, “Oks lang.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What a funny way to get pulled back into reality.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster quietly looks at him, still hunched over his guitar. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild looks back at him, brows slowly scrunching in confusion.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster smirks, then pokes Zild on the rib with his guitar again, which tickles Zild and causes him to jolt in his seat again.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huy! Ano ba!?”, Zild uttered, he didn’t know if he should laugh or get annoyed.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster full on smiles, quickly takes his guitar off of his shoulder to put down on the floor, he kneels on the couch and then jumps at the bassist, tickling him on his stomach,</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huy! Wag!!!”, Zild gasped before giggling and laughing uncontrollably, “Blaster!!! Gagi- tigilan mo ko!!!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster giggles along, “Ayoko! Grrrr!” he protested.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tangina!!! Ang kulit mo!!!” Zild blurts out between giggles, trying to shove Blaster off of his body but failing.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly, they hear the door to the room open, Blaster quickly moves off of Zild and Zild immediately sits up straight. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Badjao walks to the center of the room and stares at them wide-eyed.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s3">Putangina Badjao please wag mo kong tignan ng ganyan parang awa mo na.</span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild thinks, though both he and Blaster are holding back their laughter.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Badjao goes straight to his drum set and sits down, eyes on his drums, “Onti nalang guys may mabubuntis na ng maaga.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Badjao!” Zild yells, but chuckles at the drummer’s statement despite himself, “Pasmado talaga bibig neto.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster laughs uncontrollably, “Walang mabubuntis!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nako!” Badjao excalimed, “Panahon ngayon ng baby-making, Ter, meron talagang nabubuntis.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster and Zild laughs at Badjao’s response.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Parehas kasi kaming lalaki!”, Blaster quipped.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Batang-ama.” Zild says a little breathlessly from laughing so much. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ang gulo na ng buhok mo.” Blaster commented, brushing away strands of Zild’s hair from his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Epal ka kasi e!”, Zild shouts.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster chuckles at him, looking at Zild‘s eyes as he tucks the bassist’s hair over his ear.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The two stare at each other quietly for a brief moment.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Guys ano, ako din magigitara? Ako din mag-b-bass?” Badjao interrupts.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes papa.” Blaster replied with a grin, retrieving his guitar from the floor and strapping it back on his shoulder, returning his attention on his strings.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild stared at the Guitarist from the side, but follows and adjusts the position of his bass.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><em> <span class="s3">Anong nangyari? </span> </em> <span class="s1">Zild thought, thinking of what just happened, face feeling a little warm.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p>
<hr/><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After they finished practicing, they went out again to eat, choosing to go to the food court this time.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster was eating korean barbeque with rice from kfc, Badjao was having sisig and rice, and Zild had only bought a medium sized cup of fries from potato corner.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Miss ko na yung twisters ng kfc.” Zild says.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Meron parin kaya”, Blaster says, “nakita ko dun sa menu!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Weh?” Zild uttered, “Sana yun nalang in-order ko.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nabubusog ka na dyan?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oo” Zild says, it was kind of hard to eat after <em>what happened</em>. He couldn’t stop thinking about it... </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nagd-diet ka ba?” Badjao asked, scooping his rice with a spoon.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild shakes his head, then puts another fry in his mouth, “Wala lang ako gana kumain.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild takes a sip from his lemonade. One of the good things from having his mind so occupied with things was that he gets to ignore his hunger, Zild thought to himself.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At least he was getting something out of overthinking..</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster looks at Zild pointedly, then glances at something far behind the bassist, he stands up and walks over to whatever it is.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild turns his head and watches Blaster walk away, then looks back at Badjao with a confused look. The drummer just shrugs.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a few minutes Blaster comes back and places a small box of donuts in the middle of the table and returns to his seat.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uy! Libre mo?” Badjao says in interest.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Valentine promo.” Blaster says while looking at Zild, expression unreadable.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild looks back at him, then at the box,</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nako, tataba ko neto.” Zild reluctantly opens the box, there were 6 donuts in it with red and pink designs. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He takes a piece of donut that had red heart shaped sprinkles on it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kala ko ba wala kang gana kumain?” Blaster asked with a smirk.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Eh, binili mo e.” Zild says, a bit bashfully, holding the donut in his hands. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster scoffs and continues to eat his food, and Zild eats his donut.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay lang naman tumaba” Blaster says after a minute.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oo nga. Miss ko na nga yung ang chubby mo pa.” Badjao adds. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild scoffs, “Ako di ko na miss, mukha akong tanga nun...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hindi kaya.” Blaster frowned. Zild searched the guitarist’s face for any ingenuinty, there was none. Blaster really meant it, and it meant a lot to Zild, knowing that he has been with Blaster for years and he has seen the changes Zild had gone through.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">People complimented him more when he got thinner, it’s unusual for him to hear people say that it’s okay to be chubby, and even telling him that they liked him that way... Unusual but, not unpleasant. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild felt lighthearted somewhat, and less guilty from accepting the food.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He often didn’t like talking about his weight but he’s glad to hear what his two dearest friends had to say.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The sweetness of the donuts with the saltiness of his fries worked well together.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Badjao, kuha ka o.” Zild offered, nudging the box to Badjao.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Badjao shakes his head, “Sayo na yan.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huh!?” Zild uttered, looking at the two, “Lahat to?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oo.” Badjao replied, minding his own food, “Nagkakanin na kami o”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Blaster?” Zild looks at the guitarist.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster shook his head too, “Di bagay sa kinakain ko.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anim na piraso to o”, Zild says.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Diba eating for two ka naman.” Badjao quipped, Blaster gave him an annoyed look.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild ignores the drummer’s statement, “Lah, nakakahiya naman, ako lang kakain neto?” he says guiltily.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kaya mo yan,” Blaster says, “malaki ka na.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sa bahay mo kainin yung iba.” Badjao says.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Magkano ba to Ter?”, Zild pressed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ewan ko.” Blaster replied, not looking up from his food, “Kumain ka nalang.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild looks down at the table as he eats, “Ang sarap pa naman neto.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kaya kainin mo.” Blaster says.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild kept offering to share but the two simply won’t budge. The bassist continues to eat his donut with guilt, after all.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then Zild has a realization.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s3">Pucha... Naunahan ka pa nya sa regalo, Zild..</span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The three of them quietly, Blaster and Badjao not touching the box of donuts the entire time.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><em> <span class="s3">Kailangan ko na talaga mag shopping for Valentines, </span> </em> <span class="s1">Zild thought.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p>
<hr/><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After eating, Zild had parted from the two, they had gone off to an instrument store in the mall.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild went straight to the supermarket part of the mall for his Valentines shopping.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Carrying the box of donuts (that only had two left) with him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s still thinking about what happened.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">There was </span> <span class="s3">too much</span> <span class="s1"> to think about, and shopping for Valentines... For </span> <span class="s3">his bandmate, </span> <span class="s1">really didn’t help the bassist stop thinking about him.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The aisles of the market was decorated with pink, red and white hearts. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild stops and stands in the middle of an aisle that he didn’t really look at the contents of.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sighed. His thoughts were all over the place.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s3">Nakalimutan mo pa nga mag thank you!</span> </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shutting his eyes tight at disappointment in himself.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Zild?” a familiar voice called, Zild turns to the voice and sees his best friend, Shanne, standing from another aisle.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you?” Zild says, then realizes what he just said, “I mean- Shanne!?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huh?” Shanne uttered then laughed, Zild is turning really red right now.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s3">Puta nalulutang nako.</span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anong thank you? Ok ka lang ba?” Shanne asked in amusement, walking towards him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry” Zild says, “medyo maraming nangyari.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh!?” Shanne exclaimed, “Make kwento naman dyan.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild told her about what happened earlier and within the past few days while they wandered the aisles and looked for things they needed, putting the stuff into their baskets.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Grabe Zild...” Shanne says, “ Be, parang may gusto yata sya sayo.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hay” he sighed, “ewan ko Shanne, baka ginagawa nya rin sa iba yan.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Pano mo alam? May iba pa ba syang lagi kasama?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s3">Tae, may point sya.</span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild sighs again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huy! Ninipis ka na nyan kaka buntong hininga mo” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mamamatay nako, di na kaya ng puso ko girl.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ang arte!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“E, ba naman kasi! Di ko maintindihan tong lalaking to.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ano bang di mo maintindihan?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild thought for a moment as they walked.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wanted to know if all of this means Blaster liked him...</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ewan...” Zild groaned.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alam mo, Zild” Shanne starts, “parang mas naiintindihan ko pa nangyayari sayo kahit di naman ako yung nakakaranas ng mala tele serye mong buhay.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild looked at her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Parang ganyan lang din kami ni Crystal noon bago pa kami naging seryoso. Sa mga kwento mo parang g na g nga kayong pareho sa pag banat.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yun din e, yung mga bwiset na banat na yan! Nakakarupok!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tanungin mo kaya sya?” Shanne suggests, looking up at Zild with concern, “Ng matahimik yung kaluluwa mo.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild is quiet for a minute. He really should just ask, but their big gig was only a few days away. He didn’t want to start things and possibly make their interactions awkward, especially when they were going to be in front of a crowd.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I will.” Zild says. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But not now. Maybe just after the gig, when there are no distractions. When he can’t ruin anything.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They go to the cashier to pay for their groceries, </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi, ikaw ba si Zild, from IV of Spades?”, the female cashier asked hesitantly,</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild and Shanne look at each other, then at the lady, “Opo.”, he replief.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh my God” she exclaimed excitedly, “papanoorin ko gig nyo sa friday!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild remembers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s3">Sa friday na nga pala yun. </span> </em>
</p><p class="p2">He feels his hands get cold at the thought.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He smiles at her, “Kita kits!”, he says and walks off with his groceries alongside Shanne,</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bye!”, the cashier waved behind them.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild went home with the Valentines gifts he was going to give, and the early Valentines gift he received. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p>
<hr/><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="u"> <em> <strong> <span class="s2">Blaster’s POV </span> </strong> </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huy,” Badjao uttered, standing beside him in the instrument store, “anong ginagawa nyo kanina?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anong ginagawa?” Blaster repeats, examining the guitar he requested for one of the employees to bring out for him, “Kumakain.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hindi, kanina sa studio.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ahh.” Blaster recalled the incident from earlier, he feels himself blush. “Wala.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Weh.” Badjao says, unconvinced, “Ba’t ka namumula.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Di ako namumula!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nakita kita kanina nakapatong-“ Badjao starts, but gets cut off by Blaster angrily whispering at his face, “Sige, tuloy mo!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Badjao bites his own lip trying not to laugh, “Galit na galit gustong manakit.”, the drummer said quietly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dito pa talaga.” Blaster says, frowning as he continues to examine the guitar. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a while, Blaster finishes checking the guitar and the two left the store together.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huy.” Badjao pressed, walking alongside Blaster, “Ano nga yun.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bakit mo ba gustong malaman?” Blaster says, a little irritatedly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well”, Badjao starts, “una, tatlo tayong gumagamit ng studio... Pangalawa, pag gagamitin nyo yung studio, ako yung kawawa-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wala naman kaming ginagawang masama kanina! Nagkilitian lang kame!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Badjao raised his eyebrows, “Kilitian?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oo nga! Ba’t mo ba nilalagyan ng malisya?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Blaster... Ilang taon na tayo magkaibigan, parang iisang beses di mo pako kinikiliti. Iba na yan.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Gusto mo gawin ko sayo ngayon!?” Blaster threatens, poking Badjao on his side, which makes the drummer flinch and step back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ang landi mo bro! Kilitian!? 20 at 22 na kayo!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wala ka kasi nun, di mo maiintindihan.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Onga e, kasi gusto mo lang gawin mga yan pag wala ako sa kwarto!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Badjao!” Blaster warned.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay okay, stop nako.” Badjao says with his hands up.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p>
<hr/><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After an hour of checking stores and being made fun of, the two had separated, Blaster went home.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s exhausted, and it’s all Badjao’s fault.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">...and Zild’s too.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He went upstairs to his room anf changed into comfortable clothes and lied down his bed, he pulls out his phone and sees a notif from Zild.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild sent a picture of himself with a serious expression, holding one of the donuts up, it was pink and there were some on Zild’s lips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Zild: thank you </span> <span class="s4">🍩</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster smiles at the message.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster: Welcome.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster stares at the picture, stares at the pink powder on his friend’s lips specifically. Then quickly locks his phone and puts it away. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s3">Fuck. Hanggang kelan pa kaya to?</span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p>
<hr/><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before they knew it, it was friday already. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Feb 14. UP Cosmos. Though technically, they perform at Feb 15, since it’s early in the morning, but whatever.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was 6PM, they were supposed to meet at Zild’s house since he lived closest to UP Diliman.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster arrived at Zild’s front gate, he just came from school and is completely exhausted from his courses, but aside from the lectures, readings and quizes, it was exasperating to see couples hug, hold hands and give each other gifts the whole day in the hallways. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Blaster told himself today that he would avoid having thoughts about</span> <span class="s1">his bandmate but everyone around him at school just wouldn’t let him have that.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was just so tired, he can’t wait to get some sleep first before going to their gig. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tita Jen opens the gate for him and greets him with a smile, “Kanina ka pa naghihintay?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kakarating ko lang po.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sige, intayin mo nalang si Zild, naliligo lang sya.” she lets him inside. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster enters their house, leaves his shoes at their door, he notices Francine sitting on the couch of their living room, she was playing with Kafka, who was sprawled on the sofa.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi kuya Blaster!” she greeted and waved, Blaster waves back at her.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He went upstairs, he passed by the bathroom where he could hear water running and Zild singing, Blaster knocks on the bathroom door.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Gusto ko rin maligo!” Blaster said.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster hears Zild’s muffled shout from inside, “Leche! Wag kang papasok dito!“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster giggles, “Sinasabi ko lang!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Though the thought crossed his mind.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He goes to Zild’s room and finds Gelo sitting on the edge of Zild’s bed, playing a game on his phone, he looks up at Blaster. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster set his guitar case down and sat on the bed near him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“May naisip na ba kayong choreography?” Gelo asks, it took a second for Blaster to realize that Gelo was teasing him about the costume again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oo,” Blaster says, “habang naliligo ako kanina.” he proceeds to pretend to swim.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Gelo laughs, “Gago, may kinikimkim nga ko na joke e, kating kati nako i-tweet, kaso di pa nirerelease yung mv.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ano yung joke?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Abangan mo, pagkatapos ng valentines.”, Gelo says, then continues to play the game on his phone.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">Valentines.</span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><em> <span class="s3">Gusto ko na nga matapos yang Valentines day na yan e.</span> </em> <span class="s1"> He thought and lied down his back on Zild’s bed. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster didn’t like Valentines day, people get especially sad all the time about not receiving anything and having no one to spend it with even though they‘ve been able to live the rest of the year not receiving anything and being single.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But maybe it was easy for him to say, since people gave him something for Valentines all the time. Today, he even received some gifts from girls, and a few boys. He got chocolates, letters, and some fanart.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He guesses that it </span> <span class="s3">is</span> <span class="s1"> really flattering to receive them, they make him feel special, knowing he has admirers does raise his confidence, he appreciates that about the gifts. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But then, these people don’t really know him that well. He didn’t have a lot of friends at school, it wasn’t easy to make real connections with people when they knew you were from a quite recognizeable band and also just couldn’t understand what you do. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His career was demanding, and not everyone could understand that. The work in making music, the stress of gigs, the pressure of having an audience which his career relied on, his priorites were just different from most people at his school. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He appreciates the admirers, he appreciates being looked up to, though he doubts that any of the people that gave him these gifts would truly understand him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maybe he didn’t like Valentines day that much because of that. It reminds him of how hard it is for him to date anyone because of his career, and making music,performing, that was everything to him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The door to Zild’s room suddenly opens, </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huy!” Zild says as soon as he got inside and saw the two, he quickly covered his bare chest with his arms, “Nandito pala kayo!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild’s hair was wet and he wasn’t wearing any clothes, except for the blue towel wrapped around his waist, he had just finished showering, the whole room smells like soap now.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bagong ligo!” Gelo says. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kuhain ko lang damit ko.” Zild walks to his closet and finds clothes to wear.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dito ka na magpalit.” Gelo says, Blaster tilts his head up from the bed to look at Zild.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ew, ayoko.” Zild says and walks out of his room with a his change of clothes, dripping wet. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maka-ew!?” Gelo says in a disrespected tone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The smell of soap fades away, Blaster misses it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a few minutes, Zild comes back with clothes on, he’s wearing his white shirt and red plaid pants. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Happy Valentines day!!!” Zild says cheerfully, holding up a small red and pink paper bag.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Happy Valentines day!” Gelo greeted back. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Happy Valentimes.” Blaster says, sitting up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Binilhan ko kayo ng gifts, dahil love ko kayo.” Zild sits next to Gelo and presents the paper bag to them, there were chocolates inside.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course he’d buy them chocolate... Blaster feels himself soften at the gesture.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wow thank you!” Gelo exclaimed, taking a chocolate bar out of the bag, one for himself and one for Blaster. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you.” Blaster says upon receiving the chocolate, he looks at the bar and then starts unwrapping it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uy, isa nalang nandito”, Gelo says.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“For Badjao na yan.”, Zild says.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wala ka?” Gelo asks, tone a bit sad, “Hati tayo dito Zild.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay lang!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Gelo is already breaking the chocolate in half, “Di, bawal yan!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><em> <span class="s3">Ba’t di ko agad naisip yan. </span> </em> <span class="s1">Blaster thinks to himself a little bitterly, putting a piece of chocolate in his mouth. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Excited na ko makita sila KL ule” Zild says while chewing on chocolate.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tagal na pala natin di sila nakikita.” Gelo says.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sino pa yung ibang kasama natin?” Blaster asks, refering to the lineup of bands for UP.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Munimuni, Lola Amour, Autotelic...” Gelo trails off</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Leanne and Naara, She’s Only Sixteen.” Zild continues. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Magnus Haven, Autotelic, teka nasabi ko na yun”, Gelo says. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anong oras yung St. Wolf?” Gelo asked.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ay shet.” Zild exclaims, “Mas maaga nga pala sila satin.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ngeh,” Gelo exclaims “paano natin sila maabutan.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Aww..” Zild grumbled, “Kala ko makikita natin sila.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The two continued to ramble on about the fair, Blaster lies down again and closes his eyes, bar of chocolate still in his hand, letting the piece of chocolate melt in his mouth.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even though he was just surrounded by people talking all day at school today, for some reason, listening to the two ramble wasn’t as tiring, Blaster was peaceful even. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maybe that’s just how it is with people you’ve known for years, people that have been right beside you at crucial moments of your life, people that understand you.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster smiles to himself.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He loved these guys so much.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And is it him or the chocolate Zild gave him tastes sweeter than any of the chocolates he received that day?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a few hours, Blaster wakes up to the feeling of fur on his face. He opens his eyes and finds a black cat’s tail.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">Kafka.</span> </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He gently pushes Kafka’s tail away then looked around the room. Nobody else was there.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He had fallen asleep, and now he’s feeling really energized thanks to the nap, and probably Zild’s chocolate.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Blaster clears his throat, </span> <em><span class="s3">ay shet. </span></em><span class="s1">He really needs to drink some water after that, or else his throat would get itchy while performing.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster stands up and goes downstairs.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Everyone was talking and eating dinner, Zild and his sisters were eating at the dining table, Gelo, tita Jen and </span> <em><span class="s3">ah, nandito na si Badjao</span> </em><span class="s1">- were eating at the couch and watching tv. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster goes to their kitchen counters to get a glass of water, he gulps it down. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ito pagkain mo o.” Zild says, showing him his plate.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you.” Blaster sits down with them at the table, accepts the plate and starts eating.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looks up at their wallclock, it’s 8PM already, still far from their schedule.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Parang ilang oras ng 8PM.” Blaster says.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anong ilang oras na,” Zild says, “6 ka dumating dito. Ano ka, na trap sa ice?”</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Francine giggles with food in her mouth, her dimples showing. She looked so much like her brother. Blaster</span> <span class="s1">feels his heart squeeze.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kuya.” Francine mutters, still smiling. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sana si Captain America nalang ako,” Blaster says, getting a spoonful of rice and adobo, “tas gigisingin nyo nalang ako pag gig na natin.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster feels victorious in the inside when he hears Francine’s cute giggle again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Di ba red, blue, and white din costume nun.” Zild mentions.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oo nga no”, Blaster exclaims, “Blaster cinematic universe.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Guitar hero.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Guitar hero na kaya ako.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild and Francine giggle.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tas si kuya Bass hero.” Francine adds,</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oo, sidekick ni Guitar hero.” Blaster says cheekily.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Aba!” Zild exclaims indignantly, “Pantay pantay lang tayo dito!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Pantay pantay? Bakit mas maiksi costume mo kesa sakin!” Blaster quipped.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anong kinalaman nun!?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ganun kasi yun pag sidekick, di mo maiintindihan kasi sidekick ka lang.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Blaster, that is not very heroic of you.” Zild says as he takes a bite of his food, “Kahit sidekick di dapat nimamaliit!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So tanggap mong sidekick ka?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hindi, kasi mababa tingin mo sakin. Why can’t Guitar hero and Bass hero be equals?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Francine sides with her brother and nods.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Equals ba talaga tayo?” Blaster asks with a grin, folding his arms on the table. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ewan ko sayo. Equals nga ba?” Zild asks in a daring tone.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Francine’s eyes look at the two back and forth while sipping on her glass of orange juice, even Zild’s sister notices </span> <span class="s3"><em>something</em>.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild and Blaster stare each other down for a few seconds then break into laughter. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The bassist shakes his head at their dumb conversation, “Alien ka talaga, Blaster.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The two continue to eat their food peacefuly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Something tells Blaster that Zild meant something else by equals.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After dinner, the three started preparing for the gig, Zild organizes the files on his laptop that will be used for later. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They killed some time and watched a few episodes of a series called Russian Doll on netflix, which was really mind boggling.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Around 2AM, their driver, with their manager and Daniel arrive in a van in front of Zild’s house. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Daniel went inside to talk about some things with Zild, probably about the stage set up.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then when it was 3AM, the band was on their way to UP Diliman.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They were scheduled at 4AM but they had to get there a bit earlier because of the huge crowd of people gathered around Sunken Garden where the fair takes place and where they were going to perform. And large crowds also meant a lot of cars parked and going in and out. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In their van, the three are quiet, exhausted, but they still had to push through, whether they like it or not, thousands of people bought entrances to this event, thousands of people were expecting them. They were pretty used to fatigue brought by their career, even when they’re worn out, they still are able to perform despite their bodies saying no, once they start performing, their bodies sort of just played their instruments by instinct.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Badjao was asleep, Blaster was on his phone and Zild was also asleep, or at least trying to.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild sighs heavily next to Blaster.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t sound well, Blaster looks up from his phone to look at the bassist. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay ka lang?”, Blaster asked.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild is quiet for a second, then in a whisper, “Pagod na pagod nako.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster feels a slight dip in his chest from hearing his bandmate’s tired voice. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tulog ka muna.” the guitarist says. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Di ako makatulog.” Zild says, opening his eyes and giving Blaster a small tired smile.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mukhang malapit na din tayo e.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster looks at the car window, Zild’s right, they were in front of the university’s entrance. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They should be preparing right now.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s like Zild read his thoughts because the bassist had started undressing.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He stops in the middle of taking his shirt off over his head.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ba’t ganyan ka makatingin?”, he asks with a giggle and continues to pull his shirt off his head, revealing his pale torso. Blaster realized he was staring and remembered that they were supposed to change into their costumes, he pulls his eyes away from the bassist and starts looking for his costume.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Gising na Badjao.”, Gelo says from the front passenger seat. Blaster could hear the rustle of Badjao’s clothes as he wakes and sits up behind them.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster finds his costume and takes it out of his bag, hangs it first on his seat so he could take his clothes off first. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As he changed out of his clothes, he catches quick glances of Zild’s pale form in the dark van as the bassist takes off his pants.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His vision suddenly turns dark as Zild covers a hand over his eyes, he could hear the bassist giggle, “Wag ka nga tingin ng tingin!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wala kaya akong nakikita!”, Blaster objects and laughs, he grabs the hand that was holding his face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dun ka tumingin!”, Zild says, pushing Blaster’s head slightly to face the other way. Blaster takes the bassist’s hand off his eyes, “Okay!”, he continues taking off his own pants.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ang conscious naman masyado neto,” Badjao says while changing from the back, “parang di magkaibigan ng ilang taon.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Zild, wala ka nang secreto sa samin,” Gelo says, head peaking at the three from his seat.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wholesome kasi tayo dito.” Zild says, Blaster could only hear the rustle of his clothes now that Zild made him look away.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster gets into his costume, puts his legs into each panthole, then slips into the upper part of his costume and closing the buttons.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looks over at Zild, who wasn’t done with pulling up his tights. Those looked like a hassle to get into. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Need mo tulong?”, Blaster asked.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ha? No!”, Zild declined, still struggling with the tights, squirming in his seat trying to roll the rest the garment over his knees.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Without really thinking, Blaster moved closer and assisted him with the problem, pulling the tights up over the bassist’s thighs and finally covering Zild’s waist. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster moved back to his seat, then he sees Zild staring at him for a few seconds, expression unreadable in the dark. Zild then looks away and busies himself with something else. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s3">Ano yung tingin na yun?</span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then he feels the van starts to drive more slowly, Blaster looks at the window and sees that they’re nearing the large crowd of people and coming close with other cars, he knew they were beside sunken garden for sure.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was a long and wide metal fence surrounding the field of sunken garden for the fair, inside the metal barricade were the various food stalls, games, rides, all sorts of shops, and most importantly, the stage.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The driver dropped them off the road that was nearest to the back entrance of the fence, where the band would be guided by guards. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before getting there they had to cross the steep slope of sunken garden.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster remembers walking down there from their previous gig here and he hated this part so much, he almost slipped here once!</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They reached the field successfuly without anyone tripping, then they were guided inside the fair up to the backstage. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh my God! IV of Spades!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Naka costume sila o, tignan mo!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you Blaster!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They hear people shout on their way.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They reach the backstage, which was dark. The staff in UP helped them set up their equipment, assisted the bandmembers with attaching the monitors on their costumes which helps them with their instruments sound as well as the monitors they needed to wear in their ears for them to hear theirselves better.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Leanne and Naara was currently performing on stage. They were performing their original song, ‘Again’, the band could hear their voice and the acoustics through the speakers, their music was soft and dreamy, helping Blaster relax a bit.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s3"><em>Wala kang kailangan alalahanin. Everything will be alright</em>. </span> <span class="s1">Blaster tells himself, letting out a sigh and securely holding onto his guitar as he paced around backstage. His heart was beating fast earlier when they got here but it had calmed down a bit.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><em> <span class="s3">This is just another gig. </span> </em> <span class="s1">He reminded himself.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He notices his bandmate in the corner, standing still against the backstage, resting his chin on his hand while his other arm is anxiously draped over his chest.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild was staring off the distance, lost in his thoughts.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster walks up to him, “Huy. Okay ka lang?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild snaps out of it, breathes out a nervous laugh, “Kinakabahan ako.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster watches the bassist as his fingers fiddle with his own lips anxiously. </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Blaster carefully takes Zild’s hands in his, they were </span> <span class="s3">so cold</span> <span class="s1">.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry, anlamig no?” Zild says sheepishly. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oo.” He studied the bassist’s hands, they were painted blue and they shivered.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hingang malalim lang.” Blaster says, a little amused at the bassist’s restlessness, but continuous seriously, “Ano bang iniisip mo?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild sighs, “Medyo na s-self conscious ako, sa totoo lang.” he admits.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hah?” Blaster uttered, “Ikaw? Na s-self conscious?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Something must be really bothering Zild for him to say that.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Yea”, Zild’s voice is quiet, “sa harap ng maraming tao kasi, like </span> <span class="s3">maraming-marami</span> <span class="s1"> na tao. Kaya ko din pinili yung schedule na to.”</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster realizes that Zild was also worried because of the costume. It probably didn’t help that they tease him all the time about it, now he’s afraid of what people will say and deliberately chose this hour to perform hoping that there were less people to see him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ano naman?” Blaster scoffed, “Ang ganda mo nga e.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild looked up at him and gave him a funny disbelieving look. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oo nga!” Blaster laughed embarrasedly, “Babalibagin namin pag may nang bastos, kala mo.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild giggled with him, dimples appearing.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster isn’t sure but he thinks Zild’s hands feel warmer now. He stares at the bassist for a second.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Then on a whim, he </span> <span class="s1">reaches down and pecks him on his dimple.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild flinches at the contact, looks at the guitarist wide eyed, “Ano yun?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kiss!”, Blaster replied, “Ayaw mo?” for a brief moment, he got nervous if he had read the atmosphere wrong, if he was going to be rejected.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A smile spread on Zild’s lips, “Gusto.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With that, all the guitarist’s doubts were gone, he reached down and pressed their lips together.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">He was doing it, he was kissing his best friend.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">He was sharing a kiss with someone that he shared everything in his life with. </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">It looks like he no longer needed to worry about confessing, because when he felt Zild smile against his lips, he already knew Zild’s answer.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And as if the universe had planned it, they hear Leanne and Nara sing through the speakers, </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“When the morning comes I’ll claim it,</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I don’t wanna waste one more minute,</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I want to feel again, yes I want to feel again” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a moment, they parted their lips and quietly watched each other’s faces.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster can see Zild’s bright smile in the dimly lit backstage, “Parang nawala na kaba ko.” Zild says.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaster chuckles, his chest felt so warm right now.</span>
</p><p class="p1">”Uhm..” he muttered, “Late Valentines gift?” it was so cheesy but whatever.</p><p class="p2">“Thanks.” Zild says, giggling, “Akala ko yung donuts na yun e.”</p><p class="p2">Zild makes him laugh again for the hundredth time.</p><p class="p2">“Well, isa din yun.” he says.</p><p class="p2">“Gusto ko lang malaman.” Zild starts, “Kanina sa van, yung stockings ko...” he trails off.</p><p class="p2">Blaster looks at him for a second, then his eyes widen a bit after remembering what the bassist was talking about, “Ah!! Sorry!” he laughed nervously.</p><p class="p2">”Nananadya ka ba Blaster?” Zild asked him with a smug expression.</p><p class="p2">”Hindi!! Inisip ko lang baka kailangan mo ng tulong, ganun!” Blaster stuttered embarrassedly. </p><p class="p2">”Tapos nung isang araw pa... Sasagiin pa ko kunwari...”</p><p class="p2">”Totoong nasagi lang kita nun!” Zild laughed at him as he tried to explain himself, though Blaster wasn’t offended, in fact, hearing the bassist laugh made him feel... Nice. He’s finding his own actions amusing now, too. </p><p class="p2">“Kung gusto mo gawin mga yan sa’kin, pwede naman e.” Zild says quietly, head facing away slightly.</p><p class="p2">”Ha?” </p><p class="p2">“Magtanong ka lang.” Zild muttered.</p><p class="p2">It was too dark for Blaster to tell if the bassist was getting red, but the guitarist was sure he is. He himself probably was blushing really hard too. Who wouldn’t? From what Zild was saying... and implying. </p><p class="p2">Blaster puts a hand on Zild’s waist, which gets the bassist to look up at him.</p><p class="p2">”Edi sa susunod.” Blaster says softly. </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">Zild was communicating to him these things now. They didn’t have to avoid it or be be vague about it anymore, they can talk about this <em>thing </em>between them openly now.</p><p class="p2">
  <em>May susunod pa naman. Meron na ngayon.</em>
</p><p class="p2">The two look into each other’s eyes quietly.</p><p class="p2">“Thank you so much UP Diliman! We love you!” Leanne shouts from the stage, and the audience cheers and applauses.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mukhang tayo na next.” Blaster nodded towards the stage, </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay.” Zild’s expression turns serious.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ready ka na?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zild nodded with a smug smirk, nobody could look more ready than he was. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They walked up the stage confidently, and the moment the crowd sees them, they all cheered.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">~end~</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Mas satisfied ako sa pagsulat ng kwento nato kesa sa unang kwento ko</p><p>Sidenote, di talaga ako sure if nasa college ngayon si Blaster o kung ano yung course nya, if it turns out hindi pala, isipin nalang natin na headcanon to sa kwento haha, and I also want to mention that there’s really nothing wrong with not going to college. </p><p>Blaster and Zild having difficulties with finding a partner is merely a plot device for this fictional work, I don’t actually think that’s true in real life, I respect Blaster, Zild, and their girlfriends.</p><p>With that said, I hope you enjoyed this!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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